Barney Quote #170
Quote from Barney in Mary the Paralegal
Barney: Okay, well, I guess now is as good a time as any. In keeping with tonight's award show motif, I'd like to announce this evening's big twist ending! Vampire Lou, would you do the honors?
Vampire Lou: "Mary's not really a prostitute."
Marshall: What?
Barney: That's all, Vampire Lou. Nicely done.
Marshall: So she's not...?
Barney: No. Mary's just a paralegal who lives in my building. Oh, ha-ha! And here's the best part, she has no idea that Ted thinks she's a hooker. [laughs] Oh, come on. If you don't laugh, it just seems mean.
How I Met Your Mother Quotes
‘Mary the Paralegal’ Quotes
Quote from Barney
Ted: I haven't seen her in three weeks. She won't return my calls. Look, I shouldn't go.
Marshall: You should definitely go. Look, it's a chance to show her you're still friends and that you support her.
Barney: Or it's a chance to mess with her head by showing up with someone hotter. Even better, triple threat: hotter and bigger boobs.
Ted: That's only two.
Barney: Count again.
Quote from Lily
Robin: You okay?
Lily: Oh, yeah, sorry. I'm just exhausted from work. The stupid school board took away nap time in all kindergarten classes and now the kids are just going crazy by the end of the day. It's much harder to deal with because, well, I don't get my nap.
Robin: Wait, you were taking naps when the kids were? Is that safe?
Lily: Well, they're only five. What are they gonna do to me?
Quote from Ted
Ted: Well, it's getting late. I should get back to my room.
Barney: Your room?
Ted: Yeah, that really expensive hotel room you put on your credit card-- never checked out. By the way, you know what's super fun? Pouring Dom Perignon down a bathtub drain. Well, it's almost 3:00. Got a massage. Toodles. [exits]
Marshall: Come on, if you don't laugh, it just seems mean.