Lily Quote #736
Quote from Lily in Bedtime Stories
[title: "Barney Stinson: Player King of New York City"]
Marshall: [v.o.] Once upon a time, we all went out to get our drink on. When who should walk in but a girl with sweater tight and pink on. She ordered up a beer. I think you see where this is going. As Barney put it, oh so eloquently:
Barney: Boy-oy-oy-oing.
Marshall: [v.o.] He rose to go approach this girl commanding such intrigue when Mommy interrupted:
Lily: Dude, she's way out of your league. She's not in Daisy Dukes, nor squeezed into a Hooters tee. And I don't see a Curves membership dangling from her key. She has no glaring spray tan, no unicorn tattoos. She's sipping Chardonnay, not pounding cherry-flavored booze. Her makeup isn't running, she's not playing with her hair. There's very little chance she'll let you put it anywhere.
Barney: Your challenge is accepted, Lil. There is no girl too pretty, for I am Barney Stinson, Player King of New York City.
How I Met Your Mother Quotes
‘Bedtime Stories’ Quotes
Quote from Future Ted
Marshall: Okay, I need a brand-new tale to silence Marvin's chatter.
Gus: I don't know, that last one had some sketchy subject matter. Forgive me, but before you got here, did you smoke a joint? You don't tell kids a tale that crass!
Future Ted: [v.o.] I guess he had a point.
Quote from Marshall
Gus: Oh, look a fireworks display. Some rockets red glare action.
Man: Thank God. Thought my glaucoma drops were causing a reaction.
Marshall: Marvin, I'm so sorry this whole journey's been a bummer. Soon you'll be right back in Mommy's arms, as warm as summer. But sadly while your troubles stop once we get to the inn the moment we arrive is when my troubles will begin. Sometimes daddies screw up, sometimes mommies get upset. I really hope this weekend is a memory you'll forget. So look up at those fireworks, enjoy the falling embers...
Future Ted: [v.o.] And that, kids, is the very first thing your cousin Marvin remembers.
Quote from Marshall
Future Ted: [v.o.] Marshall and Marvin were taking the bus on their way to Long Island to meet up with us.
Marshall: There, there, little Marvin. Let no more tears fall. We're gonna see Mommy in no time at all. Hello there. I'm sorry for all of the noise. It's been a long day for the Eriksen boys.
Gus: Uh, what's with the rhyming?
Marshall: I'm glad that you ask. To get my son sleeping is no easy task.
[flashback:]
Marshall: [v.o.] A few weeks ago, the job fell to my wife. And as the poor baby cried out for dear life, she read every book, but all were no use until she arrived at a mother named Goose.
Lily: Why, Marvin...
Marshall: [v.o.] She noted.
Lily: ..these rhymes make you tired!
[present:]
Marshall: And ever since then, all young Marvin's required is one book of rhymes, and to dream land he goes. Now, what shall we read? Oh, crap, I left his book in the car!
Marvin: [cries]
Gus: That blows.
[A lullaby version of the How I Met Your Mother theme song plays]