Barney Quote #1661
Quote from Barney in Now We're Even
Ted: Okay, Barney, I got to go.
Barney: What? In the middle of "The Night You Got Locked Out in Your Pajamas and Robin Landed a Freaking Helicopter and There's Still Time to Reunite Genesis?"
[title briefly flashes up]
Ted: Dude, you got your wish. It's a night we'll always remember. Why can't we just go home?
Barney: I can't go home, Ted.
Ted: Why not?
Barney: Because... I'm dating a stripper.
Ted: Yes, I've seen your bus ad. I get it.
Barney: No, you don't. Every night, between 9:00 p.m. and 4:00 a.m., I'm in hell. All I can think about is what Quinn is doing and where she is doing it and who she is doing it on. If I don't do something to take my mind off of it... You're lucky that you can just go sit around the house, Ted. I don't have that option.
Ted: Wow. You're in love with this girl.
Barney: I really am, Ted. I mean... she's a stripper!
How I Met Your Mother Quotes
‘Now We're Even’ Quotes
Quote from Barney
Marshall: [flipping a color chart] Not the rose quartz of the slightly embarrassed, or the tomato red of the mildly abashed, vermilion, the color of carnal shame. Can only mean one thing: Lily dream-banged someone we know.
Barney: Okay, you caught me vermilion-handed. The truth is, I've spent the last five years trying to inception your wife.
Marshall: That movie only came out two years ago.
Barney: What movie?
Quote from Ranjit
Marshall: I had no idea that food could be this delicious.
Ranjit: Marshall, you are being crazy.
Marshall: No, no, I can handle it. If I sell my laptop, we can get seconds on those squash blossoms.
Ranjit: I mean about Lily.
Marshall: Well, you know, she's being crazy, too.
Ranjit: She's pregnant. She gets to be crazy. You have to be the sane one.
Marshall: So what, I don't get to be crazy again until the baby comes?
Ranjit: No. Then it's baby's turn to be crazy.
Marshall: When do I get to be crazy again?
Ranjit: Never. [laughs]
Quote from Ted
Marshall: So, how's living alone?
Ted: You know, it's interesting. When I first moved into my new apartment, I was nervous. For the first time in my adult life, I didn't have a roommate. But then it hit me, for the first time in my adult life, I didn't have a roommate! If I want to walk around naked, nobody cares. If I want to leave the laundry basket in the middle of the living room, nobody stops me. If I bring home soup from the deli and leave it in the fridge for two days, nobody eats it. And if I do something colossally stupid, nobody ever has to know. People make fun of the guy who stays home every night doing nothing. But the truth is... that guy's a genius. Because let's be honest, sitting around watching TV, drinking beer and eating ribs alone is what every red-blooded American would rather be doing at all times.
Marshall: Yeah, but wouldn't it be better to have someone to share the... I mean, don't you get lonely without... Yeah, that sounds pretty great.