Marshall Quote #450

Quote from Marshall in Benefits

Barney: Oh, great, did Lily send you? I don't have the bear, okay? I'm not giving it back! Why are you smiling?
Marshall: Oh, I just... read a magazine. Here at work.
Barney: What?
Marshall: Yeah. It's the funniest thing. I was online, looking up rates for hotels when I realized something.
[flashback:]
Marshall: This is stupid.
[back:]
Marshall: I decided it was time to let go of my hang-ups and do the thing I gotta do and once I made that decision, everything changed.
[flashback to Marshall carrying a magazine down the corridor:]
Woman: [inner monologue] There's a young man who's comfortable with who he is.
Man: [inner monologue] I know what you're about to do and I respect you for it.
Bilson: [inner monologue] Hey, Eriksen. Go the distance.
Kim Kardashian: [on magazine cover] You made a brave step today. Remember what Shakespeare wrote, "Virtue is bold, and goodness never fearful."
Marshall: You're right, Super hot lady who my wife keeps telling me why you're famous but I keep forgetting. Let's do this.
Kim Kardashian: Lead the way.

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 ‘Benefits’ Quotes

Quote from Barney

Ted: Oh, like Barney's theory about world peace?
[flashback to Barney talking to Ted at MacLaren's:]
Barney: So I explained to her. I said, Madeline, every single international conflict essentially boils down to sexual tension.
Ted: Every international conflict?
Barney: Every single one, dude.
Ted: So the crisis in the Middle East could be solved by...
Barney: Gaza Strippers. Next.
Ted: Apartheid?
Barney: Apart thighs. What else you got?
Ted: Cold War?
Barney: "Mrs. Gorbachev, take down those pants."

Quote from Barney

Ted: Sorry I'm late. I was just jammin' on Scherbatsky. She used up all my stamps, so long story short, the postman rang twice. You must bump this!
Barney: That's... just... so... Excuse me for a second.
[later, Barney finds the dumpster behind MacLaren's is empty. He goes to an electronics store]
Barney: So, you're saying plasmas are better for low light, but LCDs are better for games?
Clerk: Right, but the CRTs have the truest blacks.
Barney: So, if I want a really crisp contrast ratio...
Clerk: The CRT's deep-pixel cell structure produces a resolution you just can't match with an LCD.
Barney: Oh, I'll take the CRT.
[later, Barney smashes the TV in the alley behind MacLaren's]

Quote from Barney

Marshall: Nobody likes to read a magazine at work and if they say that they do, then they're not human.
Barney: Dude, I read a magazine at work every day. I can't tell you how many meetings I've been late to because I was busy "reading a magazine." But I don't feel bad about it. That's my time. Sure, "reading a magazine" ain't pretty, but, you know, it's something I gotta do. So why be ashamed about it? Wait, "reading a magazine" means masturbating, right?