Future Ted Quote #105

Quote from Future Ted in The Fight

Future Ted: [v.o.] Anyway, three things you need to know about Doug. The first thing is that Doug had a bit of a violent streak.
Doug: ...crumbled, so he's on the ground, right? And we're just kicking him! He's making that face, all shaking. So, anyway, what we did... was we left him there. Top you off?
Future Ted: The second thing is that he was weird about his hair.
Doug: What?
Ted: What?
Doug: Are you looking at my hair?
Ted: No, sir. I was not.
Doug: It's a toupee. Is that funny? You want to laugh it up? Is it funny, guy? Is it? I'll tell you what, why don't you grab it?
Ted: Excuse me?
Doug: Go ahead, grab it. Grab it right off my head. Go ahead. You don't want to grab it? Come on. Come on, go ahead and grab it. Want to grab it off my head? Grab my toupee right off my head. [laughs] I like you guys!
Future Ted: But the third thing is that he was very loyal to his regulars.
Doug: Hey, hey. There they are! Hey, you guys want your booth?
Lily: Oh, no.
Marshall: We're fine over here. We're fine over.
Future Ted: Maybe a little too loyal.
Lily: No, it's fine.
Doug: [to a nun and a priest] Okay, you two lovebirds! Let's take this somewhere else... booth's reserved. Let's go! Now! Come on! Let's see some hustle, Father. Up you get. Okay, guys, here we are!
Future Ted: So, that's Doug.
Doug: What the hell is this?!


 ‘The Fight’ Quotes

Quote from Barney

Ted: Okay. We have to start going someplace else. At this bar, I'm always going to be the guy who got left at the altar.
Marshall: This sucks.
Barney: Good Times.
Ted: Uh-oh. We lost Barney.
Robin: What do you mean?
Lily: There's a girl over there in a tight red sweater. So he's not listening to a word anyone's saying. Right, Barney?
Barney: Give Me a Break!
Ted: See, he figured out a while back he could fake an entire conversation just by saying titles of Black sitcoms from the '70s and '80s.
Barney: What's Happening?
Lily: Hey, Barney, want to go upstairs and do stuff to me that I won't even let Marshall do?
Barney: Ha. Diff'rent Strokes.

Quote from Marshall

Marshall: Dude, fighting is for losers. We're civilized guys. Civilized guys don't fight. Unless it's with lightsabers. But that's like three to five years away, so...
Robin: Well, that's not true.
Marshall: Robin, I'm on the forums every day. Three to five Thanksgivings from now, I'm going to be carving
the turkey with Old Green.

Quote from Marshall

[Thanksgiving day, three to five years later:]
Marshall: It is so good to be home. Mom, Lily, fantastic job. "Good food, good meat, good God, let's eat." Right? Okay, here we go. Goggles on. [Marshall powers up a lightsaber] All right, so, you guys pass the plates. Lily, you want white or dark meat?
Lily: Dark! Honey, please be careful.