Future Ted Quote #103

Quote from Future Ted in The Naked Man

Future Ted: [v.o.] Kids, I walked in on a lot of crazy stuff at the old apartment over the years.
[flashback to November 26, 2004. Ted enters the apartment and finds Lily painting a pair of acrobats posing in a difficult position:]
Lily: Sorry, guys. I'm just going to go with a bowl of fruit.
[flashback to July 16, 2007. Ted walks in on the gang watching Barney, who is attempting to escape from a metal cage filled with water. Lily and Robin have axes ready to free him.]
Marshall: It's been 12 minutes!
[As Barney works to free himself, he gives Ted a smile and a thumbs up]
[flashback to December 15, 2006 and Ted walking in on an armed robbery that Robin is attempting to foil:]
Robin: Drop it!
Masked Gun Man #1: You first!
Masked Gun Man #2: Ike, why are you pointing your gun at me?
Masked Gun Man #1: Don't use my name!
Robin: Put the guns down, now!
[flashback to May 8, 2009 and a goat in the apartment]

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 ‘The Naked Man’ Quotes

Quote from Ted

Mitch: This is my move. It's called, "The Naked Man."
Ted: "The Naked Man"?
Mitch: Goes like this: You're on a first date, you've had a few drinks, you make an excuse to go up to the girl's apartment.
[flashback:]
Robin: So, the bathroom's right there. [cellphone rings] You know what, I'm going to grab this.
Mitch: [v.o.] Then, once she leaves the room, you strip down naked and wait. When she comes back, she laughs. She's so charmed by your confidence and bravado, she sleeps with you. Boom!
[present:]
Ted: There is no way that works!
Mitch: Two out of three times.
Ted: Two out of three times?
Mitch: Two out of three times.

Quote from Barney

Barney: The Naked Man works! This is going to revolutionize the one-night stand! This is like the forward pass in football. The slam dunk in basketball. The haircutting technique where they hold it between their fingers and cut right above it. It's a total game changer!
Lily: Barney, this guy slept with Robin, who you claim to be in love with. How can you be excited about this?
Barney: Lily, the Naked Man is bigger than me and Robin. All these years, I have been busting my hump, with my secret identities and my tricks and my gadgets. I mean, I'm like Batman. But this Mitch fellow, he's Superman. He just rips off his clothes and he's good to go.
Lily: What kind of gadgets are we talking about?

Quote from Ted

Future Ted: [v.o.] But one of the craziest things I ever walked in on happened when I was roommates
with your Aunt Robin.
Mitch: [completely naked on the couch] Hey.
Ted: Hey. Who are you?!
Mitch: Mitch.
Ted: What you doing, Mitch?
Mitch: You must be the roommate. I'm on a date with Robin. She had to step outside to take a call. I guess her cell phone doesn't work in here.
Ted: Oh. Oh. Oh. Robin... didn't use the super secret signal. We put this old takeout menu on the doorknob. Place went out of business. Mr. Wang's... Guess I don't have to explain why that's funny. I'm going to go. Um, when you leave, take the seat cushion with you. That's trash now.