Lily: Well, I guess sometimes that's the case.
Marshall: But not in ours.
Lily: What? No, of course not.
Marshall: Right. Well, say, gun to your head, you had to say one of us was the reacher.
Lily: Well, I'd say it's neither. That's what makes us great.
Marshall: Okay, now, there's a gun to my head, and our future children, and our future cat or monkey, depending on who wins the game of Risk we've been playing for three years.
Lily: Nope. No reacher, no settler.
Marshall: Mmm.
Lily: Mmm.
Marshall: Well, how about this...
Future Ted: [v.o.] This went on for a while. [fast-forward] Until finally...
Marshall: Our two kids, our eight grandkids, our 11 great-grandkids are all on a plane piloted by Oprah, and it's about to crash into an art museum with all of your favorite paintings, and the only way, the only way to save everything, is just to answer the question. Are you the reacher or the settler?
Lily: And Oprah's tried everything?
Marshall: Everything! You have to decide now!
Lily: [sighs] Well, I guess if I had to say, then maybe I'd say I'm the settler.
Marshall: How could you say that?!