The Captain: So I hear my wife got you pretty good.
Ted: She caught me on tape trashing GNB.
The Captain: Oh, that damn recorder. Try being married to that. "But you said you'd get the corgis neutered this weekend." "I said no such thing." "Oh, yeah?" Click. You're a good guy, Galactic President Superstar McAwesomeville. Tell you what, when Zoey goes to sleep, I'll find that tape and erase it for you. No hard feelings.
Ted: Really? You'd do that to your own wife?
The Captain: Sure. Why not? I mean, I'm glad she has these little causes, they keep her out of trouble, but when she throws a temper tantrum and it gets in the way of someone doing their job, that's a problem.
Ted: No, you know what? Don't erase the tape. And for what it's worth, I don't think she's throwing temper tantrums. I just think she's, you know, standing up for what she believes in. I respect that.
The Captain: Hey, what about this? I'll take you out on the boat sometime. Oh, you've got to see this boat. She's breathtaking.
Future Ted: [v.o.] Kids, there's an amazing architectural phenomenon in the Natural History Museum. If you stand in the right spot, you can hear an entire conversation all the way across the room.