Ted Quote #903
Quote from Ted in Natural History
The Captain: So I hear my wife got you pretty good.
Ted: She caught me on tape trashing GNB.
The Captain: Oh, that damn recorder. Try being married to that. "But you said you'd get the corgis neutered this weekend." "I said no such thing." "Oh, yeah?" Click. You're a good guy, Galactic President Superstar McAwesomeville. Tell you what, when Zoey goes to sleep, I'll find that tape and erase it for you. No hard feelings.
Ted: Really? You'd do that to your own wife?
The Captain: Sure. Why not? I mean, I'm glad she has these little causes, they keep her out of trouble, but when she throws a temper tantrum and it gets in the way of someone doing their job, that's a problem.
Ted: No, you know what? Don't erase the tape. And for what it's worth, I don't think she's throwing temper tantrums. I just think she's, you know, standing up for what she believes in. I respect that.
The Captain: Hey, what about this? I'll take you out on the boat sometime. Oh, you've got to see this boat. She's breathtaking.
Future Ted: [v.o.] Kids, there's an amazing architectural phenomenon in the Natural History Museum. If you stand in the right spot, you can hear an entire conversation all the way across the room.
How I Met Your Mother Quotes
‘Natural History’ Quotes
Quote from Ted
Ted: Guys, guys, guys? Architecture fun fact: If you stand right here, and you whisper, a person all the way across the other end of the room hears it like you're standing right next to them. It's one of the most sophisticated pieces of acoustical design in the world. Watch. [whispering] Diarrhea. Right? Right?
Quote from Future Ted
Ted: I can't believe this. She singles me out by name. Calls me a "fat cat." Me and my "fat-cat friends." We're not fat cats.
Barney: Exactly. I say, Marshall, my good man, how's my bow tie?
Marshall: Impeccable, old bean. To industry!
Barney: Ah, bully!
Future Ted: [v.o.] Okay, that night we weren't the skinniest of felines.
Quote from Barney
Lily: Ooh! I love this exhibit. One time when I was a kid, this room was closed for cleaning, so I snuck under the rope.
All: Ooh.
Barney: Wow, that's pretty cool. When I was a kid, I knocked down the blue whale.
Marshall: Okay, the giant blue whale hanging from the ceiling?
Barney: I was six. My uncle Jerry brought me here for the day. He said, "Don't touch anything." To a kid. That's like someone telling us, "Don't look at that girl's perky and impossibly symmetrical knockers."
Robin: Not bad.
Barney: So, naturally, I snapped the rib off a triceratops, blahbity-blahbity-blue, I knocked down the whale. I'm surprised security didn't stop me on the way in.
Robin: Well, I'm sure they don't remember. I mean, it's been like 30 years since that completely made-up story didn't happen.
Barney: It happened. And these people don't forget. This is not the Natural Stuff That Happened No More Than Five Minutes Ago Museum.