Marshall: Not everyone is you, okay, Barney? Even when I do start to have a dirty thought like that... it seems so much like cheating on Lily, that I feel guilty]
[Marshall imagines an attractive female courier delivering a package.
Marshall: [v.o.] So first, I need to have a different fantasy.
[In Marshall's fantasy, he and Lily sit on the couch. She hiccups once. They share an ominous look. Later, Marshall is by her side in the hospital room as a doctor approaches.]
Doctor: Bad news. Lily has a rare and fatal hiccup disorder that's apparently medical illegitimate.
Marshall : What?! How could this be?!
Doctor: Beats me, but it says it right here on this doctor clipboard that doctors have.
Lily: [hiccups]
[6 months later, Lily is in a hospital bed as Marshall tries to scare the hiccups out of her by making a loud noise with a plastic bag]
Lily: It's time, baby.
Marshall: I will never love again.
Lily: No, Marshall, you must. And after an appropriate number of years, you should find someone else. Someone like that busty delivery girl from that one time. And plow her like a cornfield. [Lily hiccups and dies]
[At Lily's funeral:]
Priest: And so, Marshall, to honor Lily, you must find that busty delivery girl from that one time and plow her like a cornfield.
[An appropriate number of years later, there's a knock at Marshall's door]
Courier: Delivery for Marshall Eriksen.
Marshall: [kisses his hand and raises it to the heavens] This one's for you, Lil'. [to the courier] Where do I sign?
[reality:]
Marshall: And then watch out, because it is on! [raises his hand for a high-five]
Barney: That is the saddest thing I've ever heard.