Al: All right. I just want to say... I want to thank Tim and Jill for opening up their house to us, and... Well, Tim, we've just... We've gone through so much. And I... Well, I want to thank you for giving me my start on Tool Time. This has been a difficult year, and you guys have been there for me every step of the way. And no matter where you go or what you do, I just want you to know that you'll always be my best friends.
Tim: Al... Al...
Al: Oh, and, Trudy, thank you for marrying me!
Trudy: You're welcome.
Tim: Trudy and Al!
All: Trudy and Al.

Tim: Come on, guys. This is our last Tool Time. Morgan Wandell's not gonna tell us what to do.
Al: He's not?
Tim: No. Tool Time's going out like we came in.
Al: With no audience?
Tim: No. With style, with class. No stupid fires, no fake explosions and no staged accidents. [Tim places his hand on a waffle iron]
Al: Yeah...
Tim: [groans] See, it's much better when it's real.

Tim: Binford wants us to intentionally overload a household outlet like this.
Al: Thereby starting a fire and burning the entire set down.
Tim: Instead, I'm gonna show you the right way to do this. Folks, just get a surge protector. Duh.
Al: End of segment.
Both: Good night, everybody!
Tim: Oh, I know what you're thinking. Come on! Last Tool Time? Just plugging in a toaster? Come on! Aren't you gonna light anything on fire? Of course we're gonna light something on fire. We're gonna burn this place down, baby!
Al: With everybody that helped us build it.
Tim: These diehard fans dropped whatever they were doing to be on this last Tool Time with us.
Al: Let's have a warm Tool Time welcome for America's favorite all-tool band! The K & B Boys! Rock, Dwayne, Pete and Duke! And on handsaw, the lovely Janine!

Tim: You guys are here to play music, right?
Rock: Yes, sirree, Timmy! Pete!
Pete: That would be me. One, two... One, two, three!

Tim: Ladies and gentlemen, on staple gun, master upholsterer, Sparky Henderson!
Al: On shock absorber, Eddie from Eddie's Body Shop!
Tim: On plunger, plumber Felix Myman!
Al: And on horn, Mario Andretti!

Tim: Where's my can?
Wilson: The last time I looked it was below your back and above your knees.

Tim: After the final show, Binford was practically begging me to come back to work. They offered me more money, executive producer.
Wilson: So now you're thinking about staying? Please, Tim, do not toy with me like this. You people are wreaking havoc on my emotions!
Tim: Calm down. The decision is made. We're moving. It's just that they were dangling a pretty big carrot in front of me.
Wilson: Yeah, well, you gave that carrot up for Jill. She must've appreciated your generosity for that.
Tim: Uh, actually, she doesn't know about this. I don't want this to affect her decision, okay?
Wilson: You're a good man, Tim. I'm gonna miss having you as a neighbor.
Tim: You've been a good neighbor, too, Wilson. An odd one. [they shake hands through the fence] Hey.
Wilson: Yeah.

Tim: Wow! Now we can see everything.
Wilson: Does it look any different than you thought it would?
Tim: Your fly's open.

Jill: Well, it looks like it's gonna be a great wedding.
Tim: I'm really glad we're doing this for Al.
Jill: Me, too. This white wedding arch you made is so beautiful.
Tim: You know, I was gonna go with golden arches but I was afraid we'd have to serve over two billion Borlands.

Tim: Hey, guys. I saw Al getting his picture taken. Looks like he's gonna go through with this.
Marty: Yeah? Well, I'm betting it's gonna go the other way.
Benny: And he's not alone. [chuckles]
Tim: You guys are betting on a wedding? That's sick! Put me down for 100. I say he gets married. And I got 40 bucks says he's wearing a flannel thong.
Jeff: Hey, I want some of that action. [off their looks] I mean, you know, I want to bet on it.