Morgan: Look, I need to see Tim. I've been trying to convince him to stay with Tool Time. He keeps turning me down.
Jill: He hated what you did to his show.
Morgan: No. That's all changed since the last episode. We offered to make him the executive producer and we offered to give him a big raise. But he won't budge. Something about Indiana.
Jill: He turned you down because of my job offer?
Morgan: I guess so. Must be hard for you to live with that one on your shoulder.
Jill: Look, I resent you trying to make me feel guilty. Now, if you don't mind, we're in the middle of a wedding. To which you were not invited.
Morgan: All right. But I'm gonna lose my job.
Jill: I'm terribly sorry. Please, go.
Morgan: All right, I'm Morgan Wandell.
Jill: Yeah.
Morgan: I'm Morgan Wandell. [Jill slams the door in his face]

Brad: So, how come your husband's not here? Problems at home?
Heidi: No. He's away on an assignment.
Brad: Well, if you were my wife, I wouldn't leave you alone.
Heidi: Well, I'm not your wife and you still won't leave me alone.

Jill: Oh, look. Trudy looks so beautiful.
Benny: The minister's starting. All bets are down.

Trudy: And I look forward to spending the rest of my life with you, and to someday hear the pitter-patter of little Borland feet.
Tim: Do they make a steel-toed work bootie?

Wilson: And now Al would like to recite the vows that he wrote for Trudy.
Al: My darling Trudy, what more could a man ask for than to be with a magnificent woman like you? You are my rock, my soul mate and my partner through this journey I like to call... [checks notes] Life. Come, my sweet princess, and we shall walk hand in hand...
Tim: Directly into The Twilight Zone.
Wilson: Cal, the rings, please? Trudy, do you take Al to be your lawfully wedded husband, for better or for worse, in sickness and in health, till death do you part?
Trudy: I do.
Wilson: Al, do you take Trudy to be your lawfully wedded wife, for better or for worse, in sickness and in health, till death do you part?
Al: You bet I do. [accidentally hits Trudy in the head as he salutes her]
Wilson: Now by the power vested in me by the state of Michigan and the Church of the Celestial Moon, I now pronounce you husband and wife. Al, you may kiss the bride.

Tim: Jill, we're in the middle of a wedding. What do you want to talk about?
Jill: Please sit down in the hot rod.
Tim: I don't care what it's about.
Jill: I can't believe that you turned down Binford for me.
Tim: [sighs] How did you find that out?
Jill: Morgan stopped by to bribe us with a cheese basket.
Tim: What kind of cheese?

Tim: As a matter of fact, I would change things.
Jill: Yeah? What would you change?
Tim: I don't think I'd propose to you in the back of a '68 Dodge Dart. 273...
Jill: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, what kind of car would you choose?
Tim: That's not what I mean. If I had to do it again, I'd pick a more romantic spot. First time I looked at you, I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you. Now 20 years later, I have the same feelings. Except this numbness in my thumb I can't explain. Jill Patterson, would you marry me?
Jill: No.
Tim: No?
Jill: I'm already married to the perfect guy. [they kiss]

Al: Oh, gosh! I'm gonna miss all this! I'm even gonna miss your putdowns.
Tim: Just because the show's over doesn't mean the putdowns have to stop. I can insult you long-distance.
Al: [chuckles] What do you mean, long-distance?
Tim: Jill got a job at a family practice in Bloomington. Looks like we're moving to Indiana.
Heidi: Indiana?
Al: Our lives are changing so fast! Oh, stop the roller coaster! [hugs Heidi]
Heidi: Oh.
Tim: Al... Al...

Heidi: You know what, Tim? I knew we had to say good-bye to Tool Time, I didn't realize we'd have to say good-bye to you.
Tim: You know, but change can be a good thing. Al's getting married.
Al: Well, that's true.
Al & Heidi: Yeah!
Al: All right.
Heidi: And you know what? I'm pregnant.
Tim & Al: She's pregnant.
Morgan: This is it! Today's the big day! [Tim, Al & Heidi groan]

Morgan: Talk about a hot show! I got about 20 fire marshals standing by for when you "accidentally" burn down the set.
Al: Do you really want us to burn down the set? How do you sleep at night, young man?
Morgan: Trust me, gang, the show's gonna be huge. But since I'm a VP I get to watch it at Binford HQ with the COO, the CFO and the CEO.
Tim: Which one would be the SOB?
Morgan: Oh, I get it. You're doing a fun thing with letters. [chuckles]