Tim: I don't know why this is. You know, I spend a lot of time with my nieces. You know, maybe it's because they're older.
Wilson: Well, maybe it's because you're getting older. You know, in the words of Oliver Wendell Holmes, "Men are like peaches and pears. They grow sweet a little while before they begin to decay."
Tim: Hmm. Hmm. So, you're saying I'll get soggy before I rot.
Wilson: No, no, no, no. What I am saying is you're able to appreciate a side of life you never could before.
Tim: But what about this idea about me having a daughter?
Wilson: Well, Tim, if you like to build cute things and you like to have tea parties, you can always have them with your nieces.
Tim: Maybe you're right. And that way I can avoid that unpleasant diaper-changing phase. Zero to eight.

Tim: I want to talk about something.
Jill: I'm afraid to ask. What do you want to talk about?
Tim: I want to talk about what Sherlock Wendell Holmes said, all right? The reason men want daughters is because they're like rotten peaches. I should just play with my pears.

Jill: I think it would be better for all concerned if you didn't father any more children.
Tim: I don't have to. Whenever I miss having a daughter, I can just spend more time with Gracie and Claire.
Jill: Well, that's a great idea!
Tim: And when our kids are grown up, are married, maybe they'll crank out a couple chicks.
Jill: Well, I hope they do some of that... "cranking." I sure would like to have some granddaughters.
Tim: Grandparents have the best of all worlds. They can play with the kid, when trouble starts...
Jill: Pass that kid right off to the parent and bolt for the Early Bird Special at the IHOP.

Mark: Hi, Uncle Marty.
Marty: Hey, Mark.
Mark: I'm going to the mall. I'll be back soon.
Jill: OK, honey.
Marty: Tim? Is Mark wearing black lipstick?
Tim: It goes with everything.

Jill: Look at all this cool stuff I borrowed for my play time with Gracie.
Tim: Look at all the cool stuff I got for my play time with Brad. We're gonna put the gauges in the dash panels today.

Tim: Now, Gracie, this is what Uncle Tim likes to play with.
Gracie: Cool.
Tim: That's right. '46 Ford convertible.
Gracie: Wow!
Tim: Wow is right. I've got it lowered, independent rear suspension. The guys from Motor City Flathead in Ypsilanti built me the motor.
Gracie: Neat!
Tim: Yeah! Look at this. It's a convertible. So we can sit in here. Oh, it might start to rain. Now, I don't a girl like you would like to put the top up?
Gracie: Yeah.
Tim: This button right here, flip it up. Hey, now I got an idea! Why don't you you and Mr. Gorilla go stand by the workbench, hand me tools, I'll finish the dash panel?
Gracie: Let me ask Mr. Gorilla.
Tim: Don't.
Gracie: He wants to have a tea party.

Jill: You just fell asleep with Gracie. She looks so sweet.
Tim: Well, she may look sweet, but don't play Candyland with her. She marks her cards.

Jill: So, how'd it go?
Tim: Well, we had a tea party, played with the stuffed animals, read some books. It was one of the best afternoons of my life.
Jill: Oh, yeah, right.
Tim: I'm serious. She's really cool, you know? She's so different than the boys. They want to roughhouse. She has stories to tell, you know. [female British accent] She even liked my Queen Mum.

Jill: Tim, all those years ago when we decided not to have any other children, you know, I re-routed my whole life. You know, I have a career now.
Tim: Maybe we can find a way to work around that.
Jill: Honey, a child is a lifelong commitment. I don't want to work around a child.
Tim: Are you shutting the door on this?
Jill: I think it is so great that you're having all these feelings. I just don't really want another child. And I think if you think about it for a while, you're gonna feel the same way.
Tim: Well, I can speak for me, but I can't speak for Bob.

Tim: Well, I used a Binford 61 miniature scroll saw to cut the pieces for my little table.
Al: That's right. We modeled it in the Chippendale style.
Tim: Actually, at this size, it would be perfect for Chip 'n Dale. [chittering]