Tim Quote #97
Quote from Tim in Nothing More Than Feelings
Tim: What's on your mind?
Kyle: Well, Tim, I enjoy gardening. I like to grow my own vegetables.
Tim: Well... Can't be all vegetables, man. Looks like you've socked a couple dozen donuts away or something.
Kyle: You know it, Tim. Love my donuts. Anyway, my wife uses my good gardening tools and she leaves them in the yard. Tim, every tool I own has suffered some degree of rust damage.
Tim: Oh. If your wife was here right now, what would you say to her?
Kyle: I don't know. I'd probably say... [points up] "Ginger, when you don't respect my tools, you don't respect me." "So, stop it." [shields his face]
Home Improvement Quotes
‘Nothing More Than Feelings’ Quotes
Quote from Mark
Mark: Mommy, I'm worried.
Jill: About what, honey?
Mark: If you drool and sleep on your back, won't you drown?
Jill: No, honey. Thank you for your concern. Eat a carrot.
Quote from Tim
Jill: Tim, the car is running fine.
Tim: It used to be running fine. Inside of a car is an internal combustion engine. Composed of many precision parts running at a high RPM. High RPM produces friction. Friction produces heat. Heat is dissipated by lubrication - oil. When the car didn't get the oil that it needs, it tends to seize up into a rock.
Jill: Are you saying the car's not running?
Tim: We now own a 4,000 pound, four-door boulder.
Jill: You mean I can't drive it?
Tim: Not unless you're Wilma Flintstone.
Quote from Tim
Tim: How long has the oil light been on, Jill?
Jill: Oil light...
Tim: The oil light. Next to the speedometer. A little red light with an oil can on it.
Jill: Oh, that thing. I don't know, two or three days.
Tim: Two or three days? It's a warning light. Didn't it occur to you there might be a little problem?
Jill: I thought if there was a problem with the car, that the light would get brighter or there would be a buzzer.
Tim: A buzzer?! It's a car, not a game show.