Mark Quote #13
Mark: Mommy, I'm worried.
Jill: About what, honey?
Mark: If you drool and sleep on your back, won't you drown?
Jill: No, honey. Thank you for your concern. Eat a carrot.
Quote from Tim
Jill: Tim, the car is running fine.
Tim: It used to be running fine. Inside of a car is an internal combustion engine. Composed of many precision parts running at a high RPM. High RPM produces friction. Friction produces heat. Heat is dissipated by lubrication - oil. When the car didn't get the oil that it needs, it tends to seize up into a rock.
Jill: Are you saying the car's not running?
Tim: We now own a 4,000 pound, four-door boulder.
Jill: You mean I can't drive it?
Tim: Not unless you're Wilma Flintstone.
Quote from Tim
Tim: How long has the oil light been on, Jill?
Jill: Oil light...
Tim: The oil light. Next to the speedometer. A little red light with an oil can on it.
Jill: Oh, that thing. I don't know, two or three days.
Tim: Two or three days? It's a warning light. Didn't it occur to you there might be a little problem?
Jill: I thought if there was a problem with the car, that the light would get brighter or there would be a buzzer.
Tim: A buzzer?! It's a car, not a game show.
Quote from Yule Better Watch Out
Jill: Actually, honey. I think that those guys at the mall are Santa's helpers, you know. The way that AI is Daddy's helper.
Mark: So they do all the work.
Tim: They assist Santa. Like AI assists me.
Mark: Oh, that makes sense.
Mark: Are Mom and Dad up yet?
Brad: No. And quit bugging us!
Mark: But it's late. When are they gonna get up?
Randy: Don't you know anything? Whenever Mom and Dad have a fight, Dad apologizes, and then, the next morning, they sleep late.
Mark: I don't think they're sleeping.
Brad: You don't? Why not?
Mark: Because I heard them jumping up and down on their bed.
Randy: Oh... Well, you know, they're probably just having one of their, um... somersault contests.
Brad: Yeah. It's a lot like the Olympics.
Mark: Sounds like fun. Why don't they ask us to play?
Randy: Trust me, Mark. You don't wanna play.