Brad: Hey, Wilson. Do you think maybe I could check out the waterfall?
Wilson: No, that's out of order. But if you boys want, you can play with my Orient Express train set.
Randy: Hey, cool. Where is it?
Wilson: Third door on the left, past the Tibetan meditation room, right before the can.

Wilson: It's just it's long been a dream of mine to settle in the Mindo-Nambillo forest of western Ecuador.
Tim: Western Ecuador? We all have that dream. But nobody runs off and does it.
Jill: What are you gonna do in Mindo-Nambillo?
Wilson: Well, I'm gonna live in an enchanted forest, I'm gonna renew my spirit, fill my soul, and discover my true place in the universe.
Tim: Can't you just go for the weekend?

Tim: I just don't wanna lose my best friend. Who am I gonna talk to when things are bothering me?
Jill: Oh, gee, let me think. Hm? Who could you talk to?
Tim: I can't talk to you about things that are bothering me.
Jill: Why not?
Tim: 'Cause most of the time it's about you.

Tim: It's just not gonna be the same without him.
Jill: I know.
Tim: He's been like a father to me. I look up to him.
Jill: I just can't believe how close we've gotten.
Tim: Remember how weird we thought he was when we first moved in?
Jill: How could I forget? He was hanging upside down from that tree imitating the mating call of a possum.
Tim: Remember how many horny possums showed up?

Tim: Let me ask you something. Do you ever use the term, "hi-de-ho"?
Fred: Yeah. When it's off to work I go.
Tim: Wait, wait, wait, wait. Can you do a horny possum call?
Fred: What are you? Some kind of pervert?
Tim: No. Do you own an African circumcision mask?
Fred: No. I rent. Francine!
Tim: Jill!

Wilson: You know, we would have been married this month for 25 years. You see, Tim, I met Kathryn in Mindo-Nambillo. We fell in love and made a vow to return there on our silver wedding anniversary.
Tim: So that's why you wanna move back there?
Wilson: Yeah, in part. You see, Tim, I feel like my memories of Kathryn are starting to fade. And it's just like I'm losing her all over again, and I can't let that happen.
Tim: Jeez. She sounds like she's real special, Wilson.
Wilson: Oh. Yes, indeedy. Kathryn was one of a kind. She was the kindest, gentlest person you ever met.
Tim: How did you meet her?
Wilson: Well, it was one of those chance encounters in the forest. Kathryn was a botany buff. I had a flare for flying mammalia. And one night, in a clearing, our paths crossed while waiting for the night-blooming orchids to be pollinated by nocturnal bats.
Tim: That's pretty romantic stuff.
Wilson: Oh, yes. There were many breathtaking images in that forest under the moonlight, but they all pale next to Kathryn.

Tim: Wilson, when you talk about her like this, doesn't it seem like she's here?
Wilson: Yeah, it does to me. Boy, I don't know. I guess it's been a long time since I spoke to anyone about her.
Tim: Mm-hm. Mm-hm. Mm-hm. Wilson, I'm reminded of what one of the great thinkers of our time said.
Wilson: Really? Who was that?
Tim: Mario Andretti. Just as he retired from racing, he told a group of people that you don't need the ignition in the car to keep the thrill of the race alive. You just gotta keep in touch with your pit crew.
Wilson: Well, that is very beautiful. But how does it apply to me?
Tim: Do I have to spell out everything for you? You don't need to move to keep the memory alive. You just gotta share it with people that are here.
Wilson: Like you?
Tim: I might not understand every word, but I'm here and I listen.
Wilson: You know, Tim, I think I know what you're saying. I may take you up on that offer.

Wilson: You know, I've got some leftovers. You guys wanna come over tomorrow for lunch? I'll make you ELT sandwiches.
Jill: ELT?
Wilson: Eel, lettuce and tomato.
Jill: I'd love to, Wilson, but I've discovered that I'm allergic to eel.
Wilson: I think Kathryn was too. Either that or she didn't like it and she was just being polite.
Jill: I think I would have had a lot in common with Kathryn.
Wilson: I think you would have too. You know, I started going through some things after I talked to Tim. Would you like to see a wedding photograph?
Jill: I'd love to.
[Wilson shows Jill a picture of him and a woman with the lower half of their faces obscured by the wedding cake]

Al: Over the years, we've received mail from astute viewers that have noticed that both Tim and I are left-handed.
Tim: I'm left-handed?
Al: That is right. That is why we're doing our Tool Time salute... to lefties.
Tim: Only ten percent of the population in left-handed.
Al: That's true. Perhaps that is why there are so many derogatory terms about us. Such as "left-back." "Left-out."
Tim: Yeah. And when someone's real clumsy, what do you call that?
Al: Tim.

Wilson: You know, Tim, it's a funny thing how we let things go when we're living in a place, then we decide to move and we fix it up for somebody else.
Tim: Somebody else. Boy, it's gonna be hard living next-door to somebody else.
Wilson: Tim, would you mind listening while I ruminate?
Tim: No. Go ahead. Use the bush over by the gazebo.
Wilson: No, I mean can I use you as a sounding board?
Tim: [grunts] Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Sound away.