Lillian: Oh, my, Jill. Oh, honey. This looks very nice.
Jill: Well, thank you. I didn't even have time to clean.
Lillian: Oh. How is that new job going?
Jill: It's good, it's great. You know, it's just that it's kinda hard 'cause I have to juggle the kids, and... the job, and the time is always...
Lillian: Oh, well. Life is hard. You just have to buck up and do it.
Jill: Right. Right.

Jill: Well, it really... it is just incredible how great you look. It's just great.
Lillian: Oh, well, thank you, honey. You know, it's really a simple diet. I have a copy of it in the car. All it takes is a little willpower.

Lillian: Oh, Jill, I remember your first date. It was Jake Tyler. He got...
Jill: Mom, nobody wants to hear this story.
Brad: Yeah, we do!
Randy: Yeah!
Tim: I think we should hear it.
Brad: Jake Tyler.
Tim: Actually, I have no opinion.

Lillian: Oh, Jill, I can just see you. You had on that lime-green miniskirt that showed your cute little pudgy knees.
Jill: I didn't have pudgy knees!
Lillian: But she was so nervous that night, instead of deodorant, she sprayed on insect repellent! [Tim & boys laugh]
Jill: It was only under one arm. It's not that funny.
Tim: It's not that funny. But maybe next time you should just hang a No-Pest strip.

Jill: I saw that.
Lillian: Well, one little candy bar won't hurt them. Isn't that right, Tim?
Tim: I have no opinion.

Jill: Something breakable. Something that has meaning. Oh, gosh, I hope it's that clock.
Tim: Which clock?
Jill: You know, that beautiful antique wood clock they have?
Tim: The one that has that stupid chime that wakes me when we stay there?
Jill: I love that clock. You know, when Daddy was moving us around from base to base and house to house all the time, no matter where we were, when I heard that clock, I always knew that I was home.

Randy: Nana got Mark a drum set for his birthday.
Brad: Yeah. Guys, let's go beat on them upstairs.
Tim: Drums? You... you got him drums? [Lillian laughs] Lillian, do you really hate me that much?
Lillian: Yes. [laughs]

Jill: Mom, what are you doing there?
Lillian: I'm slicing marshmallows for the tires.
Jill: Well, no. The tires are gonna be those chocolate doughnuts.
Lillian: Oh. Well, then the marshmallows can be the hubcaps.
Jill: No. The peppermint candies are gonna be the hubcaps.
Tim: I thought the marshmallows were gonna be the shock absorbers.
Jill: Did anybody ask your opinion?
Tim: I have no opinion.

Tim: It's Jill. She thinks her mom doesn't understand her, but she never tells her how she feels, so her mom doesn't really understand that she doesn't understand.
Wilson: I understand.
Tim: What is it with women? Her mom brought gifts. She gave Jill a tea set and gave her sister Robin this clock. Well, Jill wants the clock. Why can't she just say, "I want the clock"?
Wilson: Well, Tim, these are complicated things and it has been a few years since I read My Mother, My Self.
Tim: Whoa, whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Back the bookmobile up. You read a book called My Mother, My Self?
Wilson: It was the '70s, Tim. It was an open time.
Tim: I remember the '70s. Mood rings... eight-track cassettes.

Lillian: Tim, I want to talk to you about Jill. I think she's upset.
Tim: I'm going to the garage.
Lillian: She ate up all the hubcaps, and then she went upstairs.
Tim: I gotta do some work on the hot rod, OK? Please? Please?
Lillian: Tim.
Tim: Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh... [closes garage door]
Lillian: [enters garage] Tim. [Tim groans]