Jill: How was your day?
Tim: Oh, great, great day today.
Jill: Yeah? Nothing unusual happen?
Tim: No.
Jill: Didn't run into an old girlfriend, perhaps?
Tim: That blabbermouth Borland was on the phone, wasn't he?
Jill: No. Stacey Lewis called here.
Tim: [inhales helium] [voice goes up an octave] She said that she'd like to take you up on your offer. I didn't give her any offer. What kind of offer? I did not give her any offers.

Randy: Look what she wrote to Dad.
Jill: Where is it? "You've made senior year heavenly. You are the grooviest. You'll always be my love muffin." [doorbell rings]
Randy: All right! Dad's other chick.
Brad: Go answer the door, "love muffin."
Tim: You'd better watch it, or maybe the next time that Jennifer comes over, I'll show her that little baby picture of you standing up in the bathtub.

Tim: And here's Jill Taylor, my lovely, beautiful, talented wife of 14 years.
Jill: 15.
Tim: 15 years.

Stacey: So... Jill.
Jill: Stacey.
Tim: Tim.

Mark: [o.s.] Dad! Help!
Tim: I should go check, see if he's getting hurt out there.
Jill: That's good. It'll give us a chance to talk about you behind your back.
Tim: Oh, he's all right. He's all right. Does it all the time.
Mark: [o.s.] Dad! Help!
Jill: Would you go out there?
Mark: [o.s.] Help! Help!

Tim: There's something you don't want to see. Your ex-girlfriend and wife getting friendly.
Randy: And why is that?
Tim: Well, they'll start exchanging stories, making up stupid things about me.
Randy: And you think that's what they're doing now?
Tim: I think I'm in the clear. I think it's just a little small talk. If they were telling embarrassing stories, they'd be laughing. [Stacey laughs in the living room]

Al: So, did you get a chance to take a look at that house?
Stacey: Oh, as a matter of fact, I was just on my way there now. 5621 Palmer Avenue.
Al: Oh, right. She must be looking at that two-story Craftsman. You know, you'll wanna check the foundation. Make sure that there's not any cracks in the mortar joints.
Jill: Al knows everything there is to know about construction.
Al: Gee, maybe I should go with you.
Tim: Al, you're a busy guy.
Al: No, I'm not.
Tim: Stacey's a busy woman.
Stacey: No, I'm not.

Stacey: Tim.
Tim: Thanks for stopping by, Stace. Good seeing you.
Stacey: Give me a call sometime. Oops! I forgot who I was talking to.

Tim: Why did you do that?
Jill: Because I love to get people together. You know, Stacey said that after they went to look at the house, they went out and had drinks, she was captivated by Al.
Tim: How many drinks did she have?
Jill: Stacey and Al going out together. Al's gonna get some pretty juicy tidbits about you.
Tim: They're not right for each other. What do they have in common?
Jill: Well, they both don't like you.

Tim: Al, she's a terrific gal.
Al: She's not my type.
Tim: Not your type? She's alive.
Al: Well she's... She is, she's a very nice woman, but when I was with her last night, there just... there wasn't any chemistry. It was like being with my sister.
Tim: Ugh!
Al: Not good. I've seen your sister.