Jill: Hi. Did you find out anything?
Tim: Yeah, I found that even though the Healey's an English car, I still miss it.

Jill: Did you find anything out about Willow?
Tim: Yes. I stopped by Just Herbs. It seems Willow has a thing for ginkgo biloba. According to her psychic, Janice, in a past life, Willow was Vincent Van Gogh.
Jill: In other words, you found out nothing.
Tim: No. I found out in a past life I was Mary, Queen of Scots.

Jill: Let's think. Assuming that Willow is OK, what would motivate her to stay out all night and not call? She wants attention. She's acting out. All of this is just a cry for help.
Tim: Maybe there's another explanation. She's really inconsiderate.
Jill: I don't think it's that simple.
Tim: Sure it is. She takes the car all night and doesn't even bother calling us. What's that about?
Mark: I'm sticking with the big-hole theory.

Jill: Well, what are you suggesting? Should we stop looking for her?
Tim: The boys and I have spent all day looking for her. She's nowhere.
Jill: We haven't checked the clubs.
Mark: We're going clubbing? All right!
Jill: You can't go to the clubs. You're not old enough.
Mark: Well, what am I supposed to do?
Tim: Find a big hole and wait till you're 21.

Jill: Excuse me. Do you know a girl named Willow Wilson?
Bartender: Yeah. Willow. Too bad what happened to her.
Jill: Oh, my God. What happened?
Bartender: Well, her uncle left town and she had to crash with a really straight suburban family.

Tim: So, Lance, you like football?
Bouncer: Yeah.
Tim: I got connections with the owner of the Lions, you know.
Bouncer: I played for the Lions.
Tim: Yeah?
Bouncer: They cut me.
Tim: Yeah, look what happened to them.

Jill: Do you know Willow Wilson?
Man: You mean... [imitates Willow] Hi?
Jill: Yes. Yes, that's her.
Man: Yeah, poor kid.
Jill: Because she had to stay with that boring, suburban straight family?
Man: No. She drives this really ugly old car.

Jill: I've been looking all over town for you.
Willow: Why?
Jill: Well, because you didn't come home. And then Dirk called and said you didn't meet him.
Willow: Oh, yeah. Well, on the way I met some people and we got to talking. And the next thing I knew, I was bowling with drag queens. [chuckles]
Jill: Willow, why didn't you call?
Willow: I didn't know you liked to bowl.

Jill: What can I say? I'm not a phone person, you know. You gotta stop what you're doing, and find change, and dial all those numbers...
Jill: Do you act like this when you're at Wilson's?
Willow: What's wrong with how I'm acting?
Jill: You're not being considerate of other people's feelings. You're not taking responsibility for your actions. You're 26 years old, Willow. It's time to grow up.
Willow: Hey, lighten up. You're not my mother.
Jill: I know. I know. Look, I'm talking to you as your friend. Remember you said you wanted to move to be around people who cared about you? Well, we care about you. So, if you disappear or don't check in, that affects people.
Willow: I'm sorry. I mean, I know Uncle Wilson's a worrier. I didn't realize that you guys would be worried, too.
Jill: Wilson is like family to us. That makes you family.
Willow: Wow. That means a lot to me. I mean, I've never really had a family. At least not one who cared enough to go out looking for me.
Jill: Well, you have that now. And that means you gotta learn to pick up a phone, OK?

Wilson: Well, hidy-ho, niece and neighborette.
Jill & Willow: Hi!
Wilson: Well, my bats are gone. And I see my niece is still in one piece.
Jill: Everything went great.
Willow: How was your trip, Uncle Wilson?
Wilson: You know, I was sick the entire time. I ate a piece of green cheese thinking it was for St. Patrick's Day. Actually, it was just bad cheese.
Jill: Tim had some stomach trouble, too.
Wilson: Oh, really?
Willow: It was my Moroccan cooking. He must be squab-intolerant.