Rory: Can you just tell me if Lane is home?
Mrs. Kim: No.
Rory: Do you know where she is?
Mrs. Kim: School.
Rory: Still?
Mrs. Kim: Yes. She's there, she's studying. What's that moving by your foot?
Rory: What?
Mrs. Kim: I see something moving by your foot.
Rory: There's nothing. I swear. Aah! [runs off] Will you tell her I came by?

Madeline: [on the phone] Listen, I have to ask you a little favor. I'm working on an article for The Franklin. Totally last minute. I thought it would be interesting to compare Chilton's overall PSAT scores to other prep schools in the area. I'm trying to compile a list of people's scores especially the top students, and I realized I don't have yours yet.
Rory: You want to know my PSAT scores?
Madeline: Yes, that would be great.
Rory: Put Paris on the phone.
Madeline: Excuse me?
Rory: Paris. Let me talk to her.
Madeline: Oh, Paris isn't here. I don't know where she is. She's probably at her house or maybe at the library, or maybe she's buying pencils because she goes through them so fast, she pushes down on them really hard. Then they break...
Rory: Madeline.
Madeline: Hold on.

Lorelai: Enough. Now I've got computer screens feeling sorry for me.
Rory: How many places is that?
Lorelai: Oh, it's not the amount of places that turns you down that matters it's the quality of the place that turns you down. When you've got Jacko's Loans not wanting your business, it's time to hang out with the Coreys.
Rory: I'm sorry.
Lorelai: I won't think about it tonight. I'll think about it tomorrow. At Tara.

Rory: Mom, I hate to bring this up but there's an obvious solution to our problem.
Lorelai: I know, honey.
Rory: You do?
Lorelai: Yes. And frankly, I think if I sold you into white slavery, I would miss you.

Emily: What are you taking?
Lorelai: Roofies.
Rory: Aspirin.
Emily: Are you getting sick?
Lorelai: No, I just have a headache.
Emily: Well, having a headache means you're sick. You think it's normal to have a headache?
Lorelai: No, I just have a tension headache.
Emily: Well, what do you have to be tense about?
Lorelai: Oh, I can't begin to think.

Rory: She's got a case of exterminatoritis.
Emily: What's that mean?
Lorelai: Nothing.
Rory: We have termites.
Emily: That's terrible.
Lorelai: It's not so bad.
Rory: They're eating our whole house.
Lorelai: But they always say thank you.

Emily: What does that mean, "they're eating your whole house"?
Lorelai: Rory.
Rory: Well, we found out that we have all these foundation problems and it's gonna be very expensive to fix. Mom can't get a loan.
Lorelai: That is not true.
Rory: You've been turned down by five banks.
Lorelai: Hey, I made up Jacko's Loans and stuff.
Rory: Fine, four banks.

Lorelai: Mom, stop.
Emily: You took my pen.
Lorelai: Mom, I appreciate the thought, but I don't need your money.
Emily: So you'd rather have your house fall down than let your mother help you?
Lorelai: Mom, the house is not going to fall down. Let's not make it a big issue. Let's sit down, have a drink, and have dinner, okay?
Emily: All right.
Lorelai: Thank you.
Emily: Are you going to give me back my pen?
Lorelai: Yeah. After dinner.

Dean: Think fast. Very good.
Rory: You threw a basketball at my head.
Dean: No, I threw a basketball past your head.
Rory: What if I had turned around when you said that?
Dean: Then you might have caught it, completing the 'think fast' equation.
Rory: I don't catch basketballs.
Dean: Duly noted.
Rory: I don't even like basketballs.
Dean: Okay, I'm very sorry.
Rory: In fact, out of all the sporting balls in the world, the basketball is probably my least favorite.
Dean: Rory.
Rory: They're round and hard.
Dean: Rory.
Rory: And they're orange.
Dean: You do realize how insane you sound right now?
Rory: Yes.
Dean: Okay, just checking.

Rory: We have a situation here, and she's being so stubborn.
Dean: Huh.
Rory: What?
Dean: What "what"?
Rory: What was with the "huh"?
Dean: Nothing.
Rory: No, there was a meaning behind that "huh". That was a loaded "huh", that wasn't a normal "huh". You meant to say something, and now you're taking it back.
Dean: Okay, now-
Rory: Don't use that "huh" if you're not prepared to defend it. Why aren't you saying anything?
Dean: Because words are a very dangerous thing right now.
Rory: You were saying I'm stubborn just like my mother.
Dean: I was saying that in addition to all of the wonderful, amazing qualities that the two of you share, there's possibly, on occasion, a similar tendency to dig your heels in.