Kirk Quote #240
Kirk: Listen to this one. "Does the spray of the open ocean call your name?" Evocative, huh? This guy can write. "Sturdy 15-foot fishing boat. Back-to-back seats, closed bow, meticulously handcrafted." How far out of town is 1211 Elmwood?
Luke: 1211 Elmwood?
Kirk: That's what it says here.
Luke: Let me see that. That's my boat!
Kirk: Really? How much are you asking? Because I wasn't looking for a boat, but that ad is so snappy, it makes me think I wouldn't mind owning one.
Quote from Kirk
Kirk: Luke, check it out. I've been published.
Luke: You have?
Kirk: Mother wanted to sell her dinette set, so I put pen to paper, got my creative juices flowing, and voila.
Luke: You put a want ad in the Stars Hollow Gazette?
Kirk: It's a powerful feeling seeing yourself immortalized in print. Sure, it's only newsprint. It rips easily, it comes off on your fingers, and the next day, people use it to wrap fish, but, hey, it's how Dickens got started.
Luke: In want ads?
Kirk: Man, this thing really flows. "Vintage dinette set, formica, barely chipped, priced to move." It's precise, efficient, Hemingwayesque in its terse simplicity. Hey, with two buns in the oven, you wouldn't be interested in a dinette set, would you? Seats four.
Zach: No, thanks, man.
Quote from Lane
Lane: You didn't hear about the fight? Me and my mom, classic Kim family grudgefest? If not for your mom, we might have gone the way of pretty girls make graves. They were so young and had so many killer albums left in them.
Rory: So my mom brokered peace?
Lane: Hard-core. Listen, here's the thing. My kids are gonna need that, too. You know, when they're hiding bibles and they can't stand me. So what I wanted to know is would you be their Lorelai Gilmore? I guess that's the proper term.
Lane: I can't think of anyone who would be better. Plus, you already have the name.
Rory: I'd love to. Yeah.
Quote from Blame Booze and Melville
Kirk: Sally Forth is on fire today. On fire!
Luke: Where did you get a quarter of a million dollars!
Kirk: What? I don't have a quarter of a million dollars.
Luke: You don't?
Kirk: No. Just shy. It's $247,868. Sixty-seven, if I get a couple of donuts to go. Those chocolate raised are calling my name.
Luke: Where the hell did you get that much money?
Kirk: I've been working for eleven years, Luke. I've had fifteen thousand jobs. I've saved every dollar I've ever made. That and the miracle of compound interest has created a bounty of a quarter of a million dollars. Again, just under. I don't want to brag.
Quote from Tippecanoe and Taylor, Too
Kirk: I took it upon myself to poll the town, and I think you're gonna be pretty happy with the results.
Sookie: We are?
Kirk: Jackson is solidly in the lead.
Lorelai: We just started bugging people.
Kirk: Well, I modeled my poll after the Gallup poll. The Gallup poll uses a sample of 1,005 voters to represent the 280 million people of the United States. Using that logic, the correct sampling size of the town of Stars Hollow would be 0.002. Rounding that up means one person needs to be polled, so I picked me.
Lorelai: You polled yourself?
Kirk: I was right there. Seemed like a perfect opportunity.