Lorelai Quote #2260
Quote from Lorelai in The Real Paul Anka
Lorelai: Well, I'm running low on a lot of basics, and I just want to see if they got them in.
Emily: This is a cute little store.
Lorelai: Well, if you can be cute and unclean at the same time. All right, let's see. No. No. No. Nope, and this is the only store in town.
Emily: What are you looking for?
Lorelai: What am I looking for? Everything. They have nothing. The little they have is off-brands, which wouldn't be so galling, except everything's so far past its expiration date. Hey, help yourself to some Little George's chips. Yum, yum. Little George, pass. Oh, and look. Here we have some Aunt Molly's ice cream. You'll notice there's no picture of Aunt Molly on the carton. I googled her and got a mug shot, and all I could think was, "I hope she hasn't been selling that stuff to kids."
Gilmore Girls Quotes
‘The Real Paul Anka’ Quotes
Quote from Kirk
Lorelai: I'm not in the market, Kirk. Now, listen, I know my parents are shopping for houses. Lane saw you with them. And I need to know where they are right now.
Kirk: I'm sorry. That's confidential information. In fact, the fact that I was with them was confidential. So I'm gonna have to ask you to pretend that I haven't already confirmed that I was with them, which I wasn't.
Lorelai: [gasps] God, what was that?
Kirk: Bat. Don't worry. When you spray for cockroaches, the bats die, too, usually. At the very least, it knocks the wind out of them so they wind up wobbling on the floor, so you can just whack them with a hammer. Nothing we can't work with.
Lorelai: Kirk, I am your friend, but they are my parents, and I need to find them right now. It's important.
Kirk: Well, I shouldn't tell you this, but I know they were looking at two properties on Maple Drive. They're probably around there right now. Too bad I couldn't get them interested in this property. It has great bones. Literally. There's an Indian burial ground underneath it.
Lorelai: Thanks. See ya.
Kirk: Don't run. It scares the bat.
Quote from Kirk
Kirk: Sure you don't want to reconsider my offer? I've got a hairnet on me, so I can start immediately.
Luke: Offer declined.
Quote from Kirk
Kirk: Mask!
Lorelai: What?
Kirk: Mask. I've done it, Lorelai. I finally landed my first listing.
Lorelai: Where are my parents?
Kirk: This is the beginning of my rise to the top of the real-estate industry.
Lorelai: Where are my parents?
Kirk: Do you happen to be in the market for a house? 'Cause this baby's a honey.
Lorelai: Something in the corner just moved.
Kirk: Just a rat. I'd have told you about them before you bought the place. The law also requires me to inform you that the house has toxic mold, asbestos, methane gas, buckling floors, a crumbling foundation, visible fungus, a collapsed fireplace, ceiling damage, water damage, and it was the recent site of a Wicca convention and a particularly grisly murder/suicide. Nothing we can't work with.