Emily: Well, you obviously weren't just in the neighborhood, so why don't you tell me what you're doing here?
Lorelai: You know, I came to see you.
Emily: You came to get Rory.
Lorelai: [sighs] Mom, she's been here for hours. Patty Hearst had a shorter incarceration.
Emily: She's not being held hostage, Lorelai. I resent that. She's spending time with me, something you obviously don't want to do.

Richard: Well, who did you look up when you went to Europe?
Rory: Jim Morrison says hello.

Rory: And we're home.
Lorelai: How long does a freakin' van ride take?
Rory: Not that long!
Lorelai: Everybody in the world's life flashed before my eyes. That's how much time I had. I thought we were gonna die on that van.
Rory: It seemed a good possibility.
Lorelai: Ugh, that van ride felt longer than our train ride from Paris to Prague, and we had that group of French boys singing "Sk8er Boi" and smelling like a soccer field sitting all around us.

Babette: Oh my God, you're back! Morey, they're back! Are you hurt? Are you bleeding?
Lorelai: Oh, we're fine. You're fine?
Babette: They're fine! Morey! They're fine!
Morey: [o.s.] Okay.
Babette: What the hell happened to you two? According to the itinerary that Rory gave me, you were supposed to be home on Saturday.
Lorelai: The itinerary that Rory gave you?
Babette: So when you girls didn't show up, we panicked! Morey?
Morey: [o.s.] Huh?
Babette: Didn't we panic?
Morey: [o.s.] Yeah.
Lorelai: Hey, Morey, you ever thought about just staying out here at times like these?

Babette: By Sunday night, I was a complete basketcase. I thought you'd been kidnapped by some crazy Sandinistas or something.
Lorelai: 'Cause the Sandinista movement is so popular in France.
Babette: So, finally, I just started calling consulates.
Rory: Consulates?
Lorelai: How many consulates?
Babette: Ah, jeez, all of 'em. Anyhow, you're here. Let's go inside, I wanna hear all about Europe. Morey, I'm going in!

Lorelai: You gave her an itinerary?
Rory: I thought it would be good for someone to know where we were.
Lorelai: Oh, you gave her an itinerary and she called every consulate in the world.
Rory: If we were caught smuggling hash over the border and we were thrown in some Turkish prison, wouldn't you want someone to know that we were in Turkey?
Lorelai: Where'd we get this hash we were smuggling?
Rory: You were at a cafe, you met a guy, he was sweet-talking you, he put the stuff in your purse when you weren't looking.
Lorelai: At least tell me he was cute.
Rory: He was not bad for a hash dealer.

Babette: Okay, I wanna hear all about Europe. Come on, tell me, what'd you see?
Lorelai: Well, everything. Notre Dame, the Roman Baths, St. Peter's Basilica.
Rory: Mom touched the Pope.
Babette: You're kidding!
Lorelai: Actually, I just touched his car. Then one of the Swiss guards in the fruity cool clothing busted me.
Babette: Luckily, Mom's fluent in flirting.
Lorelai: And flirting with a guy in a pompom hat and a skirt is quite an accomplishment.

Lorelai: [on the phone] Gilmore, Lorelai, yes. My daughter's name is Lorelai also. Well, very confusing or, in your case, extremely convenient. No, see, we were never missing, it was a big mistake.
Rory: Who are you talking to?
Lorelai: Belgium. [on the phone] Yes, Babette Dell. She got our arrival dates mixed up and she was just worried, but we're fine, we're here. We just loved your fries. Okay, sure, bye bye. [hangs up] Okay, Belgium's done, Lisbon's calling me back, Berlin had no idea what I was talking about, and Paris is pissed.
Rory: At who?
Lorelai: Ugh, who knows? Okay, I'm taking a break and then I'm taking on the Netherlands. I still cannot believe Babette did this.
Rory: She just loves us.
Lorelai: Well, be a little less lovable, would you, 'cause it's costing me a fortune. Try being one of those kids where people are like, "Oh really, she was kidnapped? Hey, well, thin the herd."
Rory: Very nice.

Rory: Hey, who are the rosary beads for?
Lorelai: They're mine.
Rory: What do you need rosary beads for?
Lorelai: They're cute.
Rory: They're for prayer.
Lorelai: Well, pray they match my blue suit?
Rory: They have just upgraded you to a queen-size bed, Jacuzzi tub, junior suite in hell.

Lorelai: Now we're the quirky backpack ladies.
Rory: One of the kinder nicknames that have been attributed to us.
Lorelai: Let's just be very efficient about this. We'll start with Patty, work our way clockwise around the town, end with Andrew. And let's stick with the "my mom touched the Pope" anecdote. It's quick, it's peppy, and everybody likes a nice Pope story.