Frasier: I have apologized till I'm blue in the face.
Kenny: I know. But Legal wants us covered in case Julia tries to come after us. Maybe you've heard, she loves suing people's asses off. I'm going to miss saying "asses." After today, I guess it's back to "patootie." Thanks a lot, Doc.

Daphne: I'm sorry, I didn't realize your session had begun. [to the plumber] Why don't you just start in the living room?
Plumber: Okay, but just so you know, the heated seat you want's on back order. [exits] Daphne: Again, I'm sorry, Niles, but while I have you here, do you want anything from the shops?
Niles: No, I'm good.
Daphne: Okay, then, I'm off. [to Steve] Happy therapy! [exits]

Steve: Wow, this is great. I like coming over to your house. It's really nice.
Niles: Thanks.
Steve: So, maybe you could come over to my house next week, since we're doing stuff at each other's houses now.
Niles: Uh, thanks for the offer, Steve, but this isn't a social call. We're having our regular session. I really want this to feel just like the office.
Steve: Okay, uh, well, I've been having my dream again...
[There's a knock at the door]
Niles: Yes?
Plumber: Sorry to interrupt, Dr. Crane, but I got to run these toilet fixtures past you. Your wife said you'd definitely want to be consulted about that.
Steve: I never pictured you having a bathroom!
Niles: Um, it isn't a good time.

Niles: So, back to your dream...
Steve: Your wife seems nice. She's foreign. That's weird. But then I guess it shouldn't be. I mean it only makes sense that you have a wife, and a bathroom, and you probably have a bed and laundry and that thing I can't talk about.
Niles: Refrigerator.
Steve: Right.
Niles: Okay, well, we're not really here to learn about my life, we're here to talk about you, so back to your dream.
Steve: Okay, um, well, I'm in this forest...
[The telephone rings]
Steve: Do you want to get that, or...?
Niles: No, nope. It's okay, the machine will get it. Now remember, as we discussed, the forest could be a symbol of uncharted territory. It could be...
[Niles and Daphne's answering machine picks up. Their answer message is them singing to the tune of Beethoven's Fifth, "Nobody's home. Nobody's home. Nobody's home, nobody's home,
nobody's home. Nobody's home, nobody's home, nobody's home. We'll call you back if you leave your number after you hear the..."
Niles: So, uh, next week at your place.

Bulldog: Good morning, Roz. You're looking professional today.
Roz: Thank you, Bulldog, you're looking professional today also.
Bulldog: Thank you. After work, would you care to join me for a coffee or non-stimulating beverage? Please note that you retain the option to say no.
Van: Excellent, Bulldog. Roz?
Roz: Thank you, Bulldog, for your offer, but I'm uncomfortable with it, as I would prefer to cut my own arm off and eat it.

Frasier: No, look, look. I just misread her... her signals. I thought that her hostility was displaced attraction.
Julia: No, it was just hostility.
Frasier: Well, of course it was. That's all there is to you. Ever since you arrived at this station we have reached out to you in friendship and all we've gotten in return is arrogance and unbridled rudeness.
Julia: It's not rudeness, it's indifference. I'm sorry I'm not joining your bowling team, but this is just a pit stop for me. I do not intend on spending the rest of my life at a station that cuts out whenever the janitor vacuums! No offense!
Kenny: None taken.

Julia: And I don't even know why we're here. I'm not going to sue your stupid station. I mean, how pathetic would that look?
Frasier: How dare you? At KACL, we are a family. Every person in this room respects one another...
Kenny: No, no, no. Hold on a second, Doc. I'll handle this. [to Julia]You mentioned something about not suing us. Would you put that in writing?
Julia: If it gets us out of here.
Kenny: Sure, that should satisfy Legal.

Julia: Frasier, perhaps if you're at Nervosa later, I could join you for a cup of coffee or a non-stimulating beverage? Please note that you retain the option to say no.
Frasier: I appreciate that, and in time I believe that we will be able to establish a collegial relationship. However, I think we should both acknowledge the feelings of hostility that remain between us.
Julia: Oh, just say no. Honestly, do you ever shut up?
Frasier: Now, see here, I...
Julia: The rich got richer today on Wall Street. Not news ordinarily, but after their recent slide, today's rally in large cap does take on a certain "man bites dog" quality. Speaking of dogs... [waves goodbye to Frasier as he leaves]

Frasier: Ah, here you are. Listen, it's time the two of us had it out. Ever since you arrived here, you have been nothing but condescending and dismissive.
Julia: Whatever.
Frasier: There, you did it again.
Julia: You know what this is really about. It's about you losing fifteen minutes from your precious show.
Frasier: What are you talking about? It's ten minutes.
Julia: Sorry, starting Monday I do the last fifteen minutes of your show with a half-hour recap on Fridays.

Roz: Typical man. You always want to get in there and rescue us, but the minute things get messy, you just can't handle it.
Kenny: Ha! Women want us to think that they're tough, and then all of a sudden, they get needy.
Roz: Men are like, "Come on baby, you can lean on me- Oops, gotta go."
Kenny: Yeah, women are like "Get away, get away. Don't leave me!"
Roz: Here's men, [groans]
Kenny: Here's women, Me, me, me, me, me...
Frasier: All right, stop it, both of you!