Frasier: Dad, what do you think of that view? Hey, that's the Space Needle there.
Martin: Oh, thanks for pointing that out. Being born and raised here, I never woulda known.

Frasier: Listen to yourself, Bob. You follow her to work. You eavesdrop on her calls. You open her mail. The minute you started doing these things, the relationship was over. Thank you for your call.

Frasier: Will you do that, Russell? Will you? Russell? I think we lost him.
Roz: No, we cut to the news thirty seconds ago.
Frasier: Oh, for crying out loud. I finally bare my soul to all of Seattle and they're listening to Chopper Dave's Rush Hour Roundup.

Niles: Why don't I take Dad's things into his new bachelor quarters so you two scoundrels can plan some high jinks?
Martin: I think that wife of his is driving him nutso.
Frasier: Yes, we Crane boys sure know how to marry.

Martin: You're going to have to run an extension cord over here so I can plug in the vibrating part.
Frasier: Oh, yes. Yes. That will be the crowing touch.

Niles: Well, now that you're settled in, I've got to run. I'm late for my dysfunctional family seminar. Dad, have you mentioned Eddie yet?
Frasier: Eddie?
Niles: Ta-ta.

Frasier: Oh no, Dad. No, not Eddie!
Martin: But he's my best friend. Get me my beer, will you?
Frasier: But he's weird. He gives me the creeps. All he does is stare at me.
Martin: Ah, it's just your imagination.
Frasier: No, Dad. No, I am sorry, but I am putting my foot down. Eddie is not moving in here.

Frasier: Niles, sorry I'm late. Just as I was leaving, Dad decided to cook lunch by the glow of a small kitchen fire.

Frasier: Oh, Niles. This last week with Dad, it's been a living hell. When I'm there, I feel like my territory's being violated. When I'm not, I worry about what he's up to. Look at me, I'm a nervous wreck. I gotta do something to calm down. Double espresso, please.

Frasier: Niles, you don't suppose there's a chance that you and Maris could?
Niles: Funny you should mention that. Maris and I were just discussing this. We feel we should do more to share the responsibility.
Frasier: You mean you'd take him in?
Niles: [laughs] Dear God, no! No. But we would be willing to help you pay for a home care worker.
Frasier: A what?
Niles: You know, someone who cooks and cleans and can help Dad with his physical therapy.
Frasier: These angels exist?