Frasier: My god! Niles, feel this leather! Oh, I have had pudding stiffer than this!

Niles: Oh, Frasier. Kenneth Spencer! [Frasier and Niles take a look at an index card, before walking over to Kenneth]
Frasier: Yes, Niles, I'm sure it was very satisfying being Phi Beta Kappa at Yale, but surely you would have been happier to wear the orange and black of Princeton.
Niles: Of course, anyone who's anyone went to Princeton.
Kenneth Spencer: Excuse me, I'm Kenneth Spencer. I couldn't help but overhear you. As it happens, I went to Princeton.
Niles: Oh, no! What are the odds?

Niles: Congratulations. I'd better go break the news to Maris.
Frasier: Believe me, Niles, your getting passed up like this has drained every drop of joy from this.
Niles: Thank you. You're a good brother.
[After Niles leaves, Roz comes over and hugs Frasier]
Frasier: Yes! I got in, I got in! I got- Shout it from the rooftops! [Niles reenters the cafe] Lattes for everyone! This is the proudest day of my life!
Frasier: Of course, what really matters is family.

Roz: That was a show good, Frasier.
Frasier: Thank you, Roz.

Frasier: Walter Strickland, Jr?!
Roz: Senior.
Frasier: [gasps] Roz, how did you ever get to know someone so important?
Roz: The less you know the happier you'll be.

Martin: I think I need more comfortable shoes. My dogs are killing me.
Daphne: Pardon?
Martin: My dogs. My feet. What do you call them in England?
Daphne: Well, we mostly call our body parts by their rightful names. Except me uncle Harold. He named parts of his anatomy after the royal family. He walked on the Queen's pins, he sat on the Duchess of Kent. He was quite a jolly fellow. That is, until Aunt Kate caught him introducing the Prince of Wales to a cocktail waitress.