[Frasier storming out of Kate's office]
Frasier: I don't care what you say, I like theme shows! And I'm going to do them, starting this Friday with "Frasier Crane takes a look at the consequences of infidelity!"
Kate: You do, and I'll make you start that show with classical music! Bartok's Concerto in C, I don't care how much you hate it!
Frasier: Damn you!
Kate: It's my way, or no way.
Frasier: You win. Bartok it is.

Kate: Also, I think you should start doing theme shows. Devote a whole show to people having extramarital affairs, or devote a whole show to people with aberrant sexual practices. Could you give me a hand with that box over there?
Frasier: Of course. [moves the box to Kate's desk] Uh, Kate, you know, that advertising thing. It's a very good idea. But that- Um, these theme shows, uh, it's a less good idea. You might even say a worse idea.
Kate: Why is that?
Frasier: Well, uh, I am a doctor, and I'd hate to have the serious work I do be tainted by commercialism. [Frasier unpacks an award from the box and hands it to her]
Kate: But you don't mind the Frisbees?
Frasier: Well, I don't want to be entirely uncooperative. [hands her another] It's just that- Well, you know, I've been in the radio game for some time now, [a third], and I think I've learned enough about broadcasting, as they say, [a fourth] to know what it is that makes my show [a fifth] a good show. My God, you've won six Golden Mike awards?
Kate: Aren't you sweet to notice.

Roz: Nice going, Frasier, now she's never gonna give in.
Frasier: Steady, Roz. She may have been able to intimidate people in other situations, but here at KACL she'll find that we are not a bunch of spineless twits!
Bulldog: [whispering] Hey! Is she gone?

Phyllis: "People think insomnia is a laughing matter, but it's hell. If I don't get some sleep soon, I'll just—I'll go crazy! You've got to help me, Dr. Crane? Dr. Crane? Hey, I'm talking here!
[Roz wakes up, pounds the glass to get Frasier's attention]
Frasier: What?! I'm listening.
Phyllis: "So what do you think I should do?"
[Frasier and Roz share an dumbfounded look]
Frasier: Well, you know, sometimes these things seem clearer in the light of day. My advice is to sleep on it.
Phyllis: "Is that some kind of a joke? To make fun of the insomniac?"
Frasier: Oh, no.

Frasier: Oh, oh, and now for a word from, um, uh, ah, [shuffles some papers on his console] I forget, I think they sell paint.

Frasier: [on tape] While Roz laces up her leather bustier, this is Dr. Frasier Crane, KACL - all talk, all night, all naked!
Kate: Explain.
Frasier: As George Bernard Shaw once said, "there are two tragedies in life. One is not getting what we want, and the other is getting it."
Kate: You know full well this is not what I wanted. You did this to vex me. And you succeeded. And it was not Shaw, it was Oscar Wilde. Did you ever open a book at Harvard?
Frasier: You know, one of these days, you're going to misquote someone, and I'm going to land on you like a sumo wrestler!

Daphne: What are you doing up so early?
Frasier: Oh, the new station manager's taking over today. She wanted to meet with all of us.
Martin: "She?" Oh, working for a woman, huh?
Frasier: Yes, why?
Martin: Well, it's tough on guys, taking orders from a woman. We resent it.
Frasier: That's absurd. If I had trouble taking orders from a woman, Frederick would never have been conceived.

Frasier: Hello, Line Two, you're on with Dr. Frasier Crane.
Mark: "Uh, hey, Dr. Crane. It's Mark."
Frasier: Hello, Mark. I'm listening.
Mark: "Okay. Uh, well, I work at this all-night mini-mart, and, um, I've been watching myself on the video camera, and the camera-me is doing things I don't approve of."

Daphne: Actually, Dr. Crane, your father's gun isn't a revolver. It's a Colt .45 ACP with a single stack magazine. [seeing Frasier's look] Oh. When I first came to America, I worked at a convenience store.

Bulldog: This stinks. This is total B.S.! I can't work for a chick. They are out of control. They are completely ruled by their hormones. [Bulldog barks at a passing woman] It'll never work!