Frasier: Oh, Niles. You realize that this is illegal? Did you actually drive yourself here?
Niles: I'm a little too toasted for that, Frasier. No, the minute I knew I was getting baked tonight, I called a cab. And I printed my name and address on a card in my pocket in case I'm still too crispy to speak to the cab driver taking me home.
Frasier: I judge by all this rich terminology that you've done some research?
Niles: Yes, I know all the symptoms I can expect to experience. I'm especially looking forward to something called the "munchies" stage. It's where one enjoys bizarre food combinations. I'm thinking of pairing this Chilean sea bass with an aggressive Zinfandel!

Frasier: Dad, when you were at the café today, you didn't eat a brownie that Roz brought for Niles, did you?
Martin: Yeah, but I replaced it.
Frasier: For God's sake. That was a pot brownie. You're stoned off your ass!
Niles: Well, someone must feel pretty out of it, being the only one here who isn't completely burnt.
Frasier: Oh, knock it off, you imbecile. You're as sober as I am!

Martin: I decided to stay home, do some decorating.
Frasier: Ah yes, that magical time of year when the Great Wall of China and my apartment are the only two man-made structures visible from space.