Ronee: Oh, you know, I'm gonna have to make this an early evening. I'm leaving in the morning to visit my mother. She moved last year to Spokane.
Frasier: I remember your mom. She used to chaperone our dances, right?
Ronee: Oh, yeah. She also taught Sunday school and led the church choir.
Frasier: It must have been a very windy day when the apple fell from that tree.

Niles: Oh, look at this. Dad was right. We're camping and we're having fun. Look how happy we are.
Frasier: No, the car's packed. We're leaving. God, what pains we were. Didn't want to get our hands dirty, didn't want to go fishing, didn't want to sleep on the ground. But he kept taking us, year after year, just so he could spend time with us.
Niles: And frighten us to death with stories of hook-armed slashers.
Frasier: You know, no matter how frightened I got, as soon as Dad started laughing again I knew that everything was safe. You know, I'm not ready to lose him, Niles.
Niles: Me neither. And I don't want my child to miss knowing him. Who else is going to teach him how to catch a football ball?

Nurse: Uh, excuse me, Dr. Crane. I have to verify the paramedic's report. Around seven o'clock this evening you pretended to leave your apartment.
Frasier: Yes, that's right. It's all there. Off you go.
Nurse: Then you dressed up like a clown and lured you father into the living room where you leapt out waving a meat cleaver causing him to collapse.
Niles: You scared him on purpose?
Frasier: It was a joke.
Niles: You know how much he hates clowns. [to the others] My father hates clowns!
Frasier: Yes, well it was only meant as a playful little jolt.
Roz: Why didn't you just throw a toaster in his tub?