Niles Quote #1921

Quote from Niles in Roe to Perdition

Petyr: [strong Russian accent] You know, the reason for such high prices is the Russian mafia. They control this market.
Niles: The Russian mafia controls Robert's Gourmet Goodies?
Frasier: He means the caviar market, you ninny.

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 ‘Roe to Perdition’ Quotes

Quote from Martin

Bank President: Mr. Crane, as the president of the bank, I want to assure you that it is not our policy to draw firearms on customers trying to make a deposit.
Martin: [wearily] It wasn't a deposit.
Bank President: Now, I'm sure that neither of us wants to turn this into a protracted legal battle, so if you would simply sign this non-disclosure agreement here, here, here, and here. Our attorneys have authorized me to compensate you for your troubles in the amount of $10,000, which can be credited to your account.
Martin: Ten grand?
Bank President: Plus the $40 from our original mistake.
Martin: Oh, what the hell, I just want to get it over with. [Signs the forms.]
Bank President: That's wonderful. Now, is there anything else I can do for you?
Daphne: Could I open an account?

Quote from Niles

Petyr: You taste.
Frasier: You really must try this, Niles.
Niles: It's like being kissed by a lusty mermaid!

 Niles Crane Quotes

Quote from To Tell the Truth

Niles: Well, that's it. It's over. It's over and I've lost. Maris has won. Maris always wins.
Martin: Niles.
Niles: Niles never wins! Niles always loses! That's why Niles lives at the Shangri-La and drives a hatchback!

Quote from Frasier Grinch

Frasier: Dad, I'm sorry, if Frederick's anything like me, the kind of toys he'll like to play with are... A kitchen set, a dollhouse and three kinds of Barbies. Oh, good God. This is for a Franklin Crane from Kennebunkport. Oh, God, do you realize what this means?
Niles: Yes. The Cranes of Maine have got your Living Brain.