Frasier: But wouldn't you rather take Daphne?
Niles: Oh, she wouldn't enjoy it. I took her to the opera last week. Halfway through Das Rheingold she fell asleep.
Frasier: Astonishing.
Niles: Yes, well, it gets worse. She snorted in her sleep, and startled Wotan, causing him to drop his spear on an unsuspecting gnome.

Martin: Just want you to know I really appreciate what you did for me.
Niles: Please, it was my pleasure. I'm really gonna miss the little guy. We actually started to bond.
Martin: Ha-ha, that's great. Oh, what's this tag?
Niles: Oh, uh, that's nothing. That's- Uh, they put that on at the park.
Martin: "Bark Avenue?" That's a kennel. You dumped him off at a kennel?
Niles: No, no, Dad. Actually, it's more of a spa than a kennel.
Martin: I trusted you with Eddie and you betrayed that trust. Why'd you do it, son?

Niles: Guess what I have? Two tickets to the Orpheus Chamber Orchestra.
Frasier: The Orpheus. Oh, Niles, nobody handles Handel like they handle Handel.