Marie: "Um, you see, Dr. Crane, there's this man I'd like to go out with, but he's forty years old and he's never been married. Do you think that means something?"
Frasier: Well, it could mean he has a fear of commitment... or itcould mean he's just been lucky! Marie, that was a joke.
Marie: "Did I mention I'm calling from a pay phone?"
Frasier: All right, all right, Marie. Um, I would say give him a shot, but, uh, I'd keep that caution bulb lit. Thank you for your call, Marie. Who's next, Roz?
Roz: If you ask me, it's divorced people you have to watch out for. Someone's never been married, it might just mean they're a careful shopper. Whereas your divorcé will bite into any old piece of fruit without even giving it a squeeze first.
Frasier: The preceding was an unbiased opinion from my never-been-married producer, Roz, who, incidentally, has squeezed more fruit than Tropicana.

Daphne: I don't see what's so hard about telling Roz you were wrong.
Frasier: You don't understand. You see, it's not the same as Dad being wrong, or your being wrong. I have a degree from Harvard. Whenever I'm wrong, the world makes a little less sense.

Niles: You think you had a bad week? This morning, Maris and I woke to the sound of our gardener, Yoshi, hacking his way through our prize topiary.
Frasier: Well, Niles, I've never understood why you wanted your hedges to be sculpted into the shapes of animals.
Niles: Well, we're both animal lovers. But Maris is unable to have pets. She- She distrusts anything that loves her unconditionally.