Frasier Quote #60
Quote from Frasier in Here's Looking at You
Frasier: Hello, Doug, this is Dr Frasier Crane. I'm listening.
Doug: "Yeah, it's about my mother. She's getting on now and she doesn't have much of a life. I mean, she doesn't want to do anything or go anywhere. I mean, she literally hangs around the house all day. I mean, it is very frustrating."
Frasier: Doug, I'm sorry. Can we just go back for a second? You said your mother "literally" hangs around the house. I suppose it's a pet peeve of mine, but what you mean to say is she figuratively hangs around the house. To literally hang around the house you'd have to be a bat or a spider monkey. Now back to your problem.
Doug: "Do you mind if we stop while I tell you my pet peeve?"
Frasier: Oh, not at all.
Doug: "I hate it when intellectual pinheads with superiority complexes who nitpick your grammar when you come to them for help. That's what I've got a problem with."
Frasier: I think what he means is, "That is a thing with which he has a problem."
Features in the collection: I'm Listening.
Frasier Quotes
‘I'm Listening’
Quote from Frasier in Selling Out
Roger: "Well, I had a really good year, so I decided, hey, why not reward myself? So I bought what I really wanted, a 48ft cabin cruiser. Want to know how much it cost me? I'll tell you how much it cost me, 300 grand. Not to mention the $20,000 for the custom teak decking. Now, here's my problem: My wife wants to call this incredible vessel 'Lullubelle', after her mother. 'Lullubelle!' So, I say no, we call it 'The Intrepid'. So, what do you think it should be called, 'Lullubelle' or 'The Intrepid'?"
Frasier: Roger. At Cornell University, they have an incredible piece of scientific equipment known as the "tunneling electron microscope." Now, this microscope is so powerful that by firing electrons, you can actually see images of the atom, the infinitesimally minute building block of our universe. Roger, if I were using that microscope right now, I still wouldn't be able to locate my interest in your problem. Thank you for your call.
Quote from Frasier in Fortysomething
Frasier: Hello, Rachel. I'm listening.
Rachel: "Oh, thanks for taking my call, Dr. Crane. Um, I'm involved in sort of a strange love triangle."
Frasier: [off-air, to Roz] Oh goody, this is sweeps week!
Rachel: "You see, I recently married a widower. Now, Phil's a real good man, he's a kind man. But there's just one little problem. He insists on keeping an urn with his late wife's ashes on the dresser in our bedroom."
Frasier: That is a definite yikes.
Rachel: "See, I knew that wasn't normal. He says it is, but I knew it wasn't!"
Frasier: All right, Rachel, Rachel, now listen. Before you go off half-cocked, let's try to remember this is a very sensitive issue for your husband. Obviously those ashes mean a very great deal to him. And although I don't believe it's appropriate that he keep them in the bedroom, I suppose you could maybe move them to another room?
Rachel: "Well, I guess I could try that. Maybe I'll move them into the guest room. [sound of crockery breaking] Oops."
Frasier: Rachel, what happened?
Rachel: "Oh, oh, nothing. I gotta run, Dr. Crane. I've got some vacuuming to do."
Frasier: Well, as Rachel helps Phil's wife off the floor, we have reached the end of our second hour.
‘Here's Looking at You’ Quotes
Quote from Frasier
Martin: Didn't you ever met a woman and then decide she's not the one?
Frasier: Yes. Five years after I married her.
Quote from Niles
Frasier: You see, the thing is, it was just one phone call. I mean, how can anyone make a sound judgment about someone from one phone call?
Niles: Remind me again what it is you do for a living.
Quote from Frasier
Frasier: He's completely cut her out of his life. I just don't understand what would make him do that.
Niles: Oh, who knows why anybody does anything?
Frasier: Remind me again what it is you do for a living.