Frasier: You have got to fix this.
Niles: Oh, and how am I supposed to do that?
Frasier: Well, isn't it obvious? You've got to dump Dad.

Emily: Is there anything we can do?
Martin: No, I'll be all right. I- I guess I always knew it wouldn't last.
Edward: Marty, the young ones never stay.

Emily: Oh, right. Frasier, I wish I could stay, but I'm Edward's ride.
Frasier: Yes, what a shame. Well, I guess this is good night, then-
Martin: No, no, wait a minute. Emily, em, why don't you just stay here with Frasier and enjoy the music. I'll give Edward a ride home.
Frasier: You would do that, Dad?
Martin: Happy Valentine's Day, son.

Roz: You actually spoke to her? You didn't wimp out?
Frasier: You have never seen me so suave.
Roz: Some Valentine's Day. First my date bails on me and now I owe Daphne fifty bucks.

Martin: Well, we're just going to have to tell him the truth.
Frasier: Oh, what? You found her mother so unattractive you pretended to be gay? Dad, Emily is the most fabulous woman I have met in ages and if you screw this up for me, I will never forgive you, so just be nice, all right?
Martin: But what if he asks me for a date?
Frasier: I have news for you, you're on a date.

Daphne: Remember my friend Rowena? She's much prettier since her surgery. You look at her face and you can't even tell where it used to be.

Frasier: All right, Dad, we better hurry up. Don't want to miss the second act.
Martin: Oh, who cares? It'll be just more goofy stuff that never happens in real life.

Martin: [to his beer] Well, hello there. Will you be my "Ballantine"?

Frasier: Hello.
Emily: I hope you don't mind. Edward here was at the opera, too. He's my partner.
Frasier: Your partner?
Edward: At the gallery. I'm also her uncle.
Frasier: Oh, when you said partner, I thought you meant romantic partner.
Edward: Hardly.

Martin: Frasier, can I just...
Frasier: Now, Dad, don't worry. I will close the door to your room. You should see it whenever he gets ready for the opera, clothes everywhere.