Niles: Hurry along, Daphne, we'll miss the curtain.
Martin: Yeah, and you know how strict they are about that at the Cineplex.
Daphne: Sorry. I was rushing and I put my heel through the hem of my skirt, so I had to put on another one.
Niles: Ooh, it looks nice.
Daphne: Thanks. Then the top didn't go, so I changed it to this, but I couldn't wear this with a black brassiere, so I had to change that, which meant I had to change me knickers to match in case I go to the hospital. You know, coordinating undergarments are the mark of a lady and all that. Anyway, it's a long story. I won't bore you with it.
Martin: Yeah, thanks.

Bob: So how do you know Kirby?
Frasier: Well, I was his, uh, tutor.
Bob: Yow. How much do I owe you for that?
Frasier: It was a pleasure really. So you're Kirby's dad? Lana's ex who ran off with the dental hygienist.
Bob: ... But you can call me Bob.

Bob: I take it Lana filled you in about our divorce?
Frasier: Yes, well, I was a shoulder for her, briefly. You know, I think she's completely over you now.
Bob: I hope not. I mean, I really want her back. I'll do whatever it takes to show her I'm a changed man.
Frasier: Listen, Bob, I-I don't think that's a very good idea.
Bob: Well, but you said at the airport... Yes, I know, I... Oh, Roz. Roz, listen, I'd like you to meet, uh, Bob. Bob, this is Roz Doyle, the brilliant producer of my radio show.
Roz: Gee, thanks, Frasier.
Frasier: Of course, beauty and brains, huh? Ha, ha. Who said God doesn't give with both hands, huh? And, Roz, I believe, if I'm not mistaken you're, uh, available right now?

Roz: So what brings you to this little soirée?
Bob: Well, I'm Kirby's dad and Lana's ex, although hopefully not for long. Thanks to this man, I've decided to follow my heart and come back to the woman I really love.
Roz: Oh, really?

[Kirby walks out with his mother, covering her eyes with his hands]
Lana: Kirby, what is it?
Kirby: You'll see. You'll see. [removes his hands]
Lana: Oh, crap!
Frasier: Well, there goes that.

Roz: You jerk. I am not just some man bait that you can just set out whenever it suits you.

Roz: You know, as ugly as that was, things couldn't have worked out any better for you. I mean, she's vulnerable, there's a full bar, she's already in the bedroom. Almost takes the sport out of it.

Frasier: I know you must be upset, Kirby.
Kirby: The guy just wants to talk to her and she gets completely bent.
Frasier: I know.
Kirby: I know it's a cliché, okay. I just, I really want my parents to get back together.
Frasier: I wish I could help.
Kirby: You could talk to my mother. You could tell her to give him another chance.
Frasier: Oh, I, I don't think I'm the guy for that job.
Kirby: Talking to people is your job. You could try.
Frasier: No, I can't.
Kirby: Can't? I seem to recall a young pupil named Kirby. He said "I can't" nary but months ago. But a certain man named Dr. Frasier Crane taught that pupil that he can do whatever he sets his mind to. And the name of that man was you!

Niles: Hey, how did things go with Lana?
Frasier: Oh, I think she's going back with her ex-husband. He showed up at the party, and I ended up counseling her to give him a second chance. It was the noble thing to do... although my honor won't keep me warm at night.