Daphne: All right, I'll see you at home.
Roz: Hey, would you date a gynecologist?
Daphne: Oh God, no.
Roz: [to Frasier] See?
Daphne: I wouldn't even date a dentist. Hands in people's mouths all day. And after watching Eddie's complete physical, I'm not anxious to date a vet anytime soon either.

Frasier: What are you doing?
Martin: Oh, I ran out and bought a bunch of new toys for Eddie. I just thought it might cheer him up, you know? Hey Eddie, look at this. Hamburger! Juicy, meaty. I bet you'd like a bite of this, wouldn't ya'? No? Well, then there's more for me. I sure hope you don't take a bite out of the other side.
Martin: Did you ever see anything sadder than this?
Frasier: No, I can't say that I have.

Dr. Shaw: I'm sorry, I get the feeling that some of us aren't taking this seriously.
Frasier: I apologize, it all just seems a bit silly.
Dr. Shaw: Oh, really? Silly? I'll have you know I just attended the funeral of one Buttons McFarland whose owners felt the same way.

Daphne: Poached salmon. I don't know why.

Dr. Shaw:What do you imagine would be human Eddie's favorite cologne?
Martin: Aqua Velva. It's a little strong but I think he can pull it off.
Daphne: Grey Flannel. I don't know why.

Frasier: Cologne? Well, actually I think he would prefer toilet water.
Niles: By the way, same answer for favorite beverage!

Frasier: Okay, I'll say it. What the hell have they been doing in there for the past hour?
Martin: Well, he's probably just talking to him. Eddie happens to be very complex and interesting.
Frasier: Oh yes, you must remind me to sit beside him at his next dinner party.
Niles: Well, be prepared, he'll be up and down checking on that meatloaf.

Roz: I want to kill myself!
Martin: [happily:] Hey, Roz, not in front of Eddie.
Roz: What?
Daphne: [happily:] That gentleman that just left was a dog psychiatrist.
Martin: [happily:] He said that it would be a good idea if we all had a happy tone around Eddie.
Niles: [happily:] So please tell us, why do you want to kill yourself?

Frasier: All right, Roz, what happened?
Roz: Well, we went upstairs to his apartment and he poured a glass of wine, and... Well, do you know what a speculum is?
[cut to the radio station]
Frasier: Apparently he was an avid collector of antique gynecological equipment.
[Roz dumps a cup of water on Frasier's head]

Frasier: You know, I hate to say it, but Dad, if anyone's giving off unhappiness, I'm afraid it's you.
Martin: Me?
Frasier: Yes.
Martin: You're the one who hasn't had a date in a year. Not to mention two failed marriages.
Frasier: And yet you did.