Frasier: And we're back. All right, Mary, who's our first caller?
Mary: Maria! Uh, she's thirty-six years old... married five years... and her husband's been staying late at the office so he can meet with his secretary.
Frasier: That's the way to do it! Oh. I mean- I'm sorry, Maria. I'm listening.
Maria: "Hi, Dr. Crane. Anyway, he's having an affair and it's not his first. This has been going on since we were newlyweds. How do I get him to change?"
Frasier: Well, Maria. You of course know it's impossible to force anyone to change. But you can work to change yourself. Usually, women that tolerate this sort of behavior from their husbands are suffering from low self-esteem issues. You may need some counseling to resolve those issues. Let me ask you a couple of questions...
Mary: May I say something?
Frasier: Yes.
Mary: Maria, Dr. Crane is right. You must make a change. And the first thing you change is the lock on your front door.
Frasier: What?
Mary: Oh, listen, there's plenty of time for counselors, but at six o'clock locksmiths start charging extra, so you get on it, girlfriend. You know, my Grandpa Willie used to say, "Nothing stops a man from playing the field faster than a night out on the lawn." Okay? Okay!
Frasier: Oh, thank you, Grandpa Willie!