Frank: I'll tell you what she'd do. Not only would she take the money, she'd model the damn thing.
Marie: Oh, I certainly would not.
Frank: You know, I would endorse the product if I used them myself.
Ray: All right. Could we ask another question? 'Cause I got to knock the last couple of images out of my head.
Marie: If you used them, you would admit to it?
Frank: It's the right thing to do.
Marie: Oh, all of a sudden you have scruples.
Frank: I got scruples, Marie. I got scruples the size of basketballs.

Ray: I did not take your rubber boots, Robert. That's it. That's all. I'm done, Robert.
Robert: Time. Shall we vote? Everyone who agrees with me, that Raymond the Boot Thief would take someone's umbrella, please raise your hand. Mom? Mom?
Marie: No, I can't vote against one of my sons.
Robert: Okay. Taking Raymond's side. That's typical. [Debra raises her hand] What are you doing?
Robert: Thank you, Debra.
Ray: What is this?
Debra: What? Come on, Ray. You didn't make much of an argument.
Ray: Why would I lie about taking his galoshes?
Debra: Well, you lied about how much you love talking to me.
Ray: Well, I'm not crazy about it right now, either.

Frank: What's happening with the game?
Robert: We caught Ray lying.
Ray: I didn't lie.
Robert: Remember when he took my boots?
Frank: Yeah. That's right. "Cheaters never prosper." This ain't such a bad game after all.
Marie: So now you're glad we played?
Frank: Yes, because not only does this game teach moral values it brings families together. That's what's happening here. And what can be more important than that? [The TV clicks]
Ray: We got something.
Frank: Get out of the way.
Ray: We got something.
Frank: Holy crap, come on, baby!
Robert: Come on. Barnaby Jones. Barnaby Jones.
Ray: Follow the line.
Frank: All right. Whose frigging turn is it?

Frank: Maybe it's not that I died. Maybe I just sort of took off. Bought a boat and now I'm sailing. With your bridge partner Harriet Lippman.
Marie: What?
Frank: Ah, the sea air is so invigorating. Ah, Harriet.

Frank: All right. Let's get this over with. Debra. "While your mate is off snorkeling, you're relaxing in the resort hot tub. A sexy stranger starts playing footsie with you. Do you withdraw your foot?"
Debra: ... Yes, of course.
Ray: What the hell was that?
Debra: What?
Ray: What- What was that pause before you answered?
Debra: I didn't pause.
Ray: Yes, you did. Yeah, you went like this, you went... What was that?
Debra: Ray, if I paused, it was just to picture you snorkeling.

Ray: [to Debra] You know, you're so obvious. You're just mad at me because of the other thing.
Marie: What other thing?
Ray: Nothing.
Frank: You moving in.
Marie: Is that why Debra followed you in the kitchen, to yell at you?
Ray: ... No.
Frank: Talk about pauses.

Frank: You know who used to sing you to sleep with that song? My mother!
Marie: A horrible woman!
Ray: Oh, come on. Why do you start?
Frank: She was a saint!
Marie: I didn't like her but I still took her in, not like some people.
Debra: Marie, I like you, damn it! I like you!

Cable Guy: You've got an illegal cable splitter on your roof.
Ray: I do?
Cable Guy: You didn't know nothing about it, right? And it's a real cheap one. That's why your cable service went out.
Marie: Ray, I'm surprised at you.
Debra: What did you do, Ray?
Ray: I didn't do anything. I don't even know what a splitter is.
Cable Guy: It splits your signal and sends it somewhere else. And in this case, right across the street to that house. [Frank tries to back away]
Marie: Where are you going?
Frank: I was just going to get some cocoa.
Marie: You've been stealing cable?
Ray: You're stealing cable from your own son?
Frank: Sharing.
Cable Guy: Hey, look, you seem like you're a nice family. I'm sure you're going to work this all out. But right now you're looking at $2,500 fine. [Marie gasps] Have a good evening.
Frank: Hey, hey, hey. Wait a minute, pal. It was an honest mistake. [flashing money] Maybe I can make it right.