Debra: What does everybody want to play?
Robert: How about Scruples?
Debra: No, we don't have that one, Robert.
Robert: I gave it to you for Christmas, two years ago.
Debra: Oh, yes. Scruples. Here it is. Remember this, Ray?
Ray: Yeah, the one in the box.
Debra: Yeah. Let's play this. We love this.
Robert: The shrink-wrap is still on it. "Gee, thanks, Robert. Thanks for the gift. You have such great taste." You can't even take off the shrink-wrap to play what I gave you.

Robert: "Give each player five red cards."
Frank: What are you doing?
Robert: I'm reading the rules.
Frank: Just play!
Robert: "Give each player five red cards. Each red card has a moral question on it. For example: 'You are hungry and broke, do you steal food?'"
Ray: Your family wants to play a game. Do you set yourself on fire to get out of it?

Frank: Don't look at me like that. You cannot judge me until you've walked in my shoes.
Ray: That brings up an interesting point, Dad. What size shoes would those be? About a 12, right?
Frank: So what?
Ray: Robert, when you were 11, what sizes galoshes did you wear?
Robert: Twelve. [all look at Frank]
Frank: No more games! [exits]
Marie: Don't worry. When I move in here, we'll play games all the time.

Debra: Michael asleep?
Ray: Finally. I tried everything. Read to him, I rocked him. He kept looking at me like: "Is that all you got? Is that it?" [puts TV on] Ah, ESPN. Nothing quite like it. Nothing even comes close. Well, ESPN 2.
Debra: You know, Ray, could you at least look at me before you settle in for three hours of television?
Ray: I looked at you when I came in.

Ray: Come on, I can't believe this. Look.
Debra: Try pressing the on/off button and tapping the cable box with the remote. Now hit the back of the set. Now rub the sides with your hands. Little harder. Getting excited, huh?
Ray: Oh, you're very funny. Yeah. You're jealous. That's what you are.

Ray: Come on, what's going on? I hate this cable company.
Debra: Come on, Ray, it's just television. It's not the end of the world.
Frank: [enters] Your TV's out, too? Sweet mother of God!

Debra: Oh, come on, Ray. You'll just sit here and wait for the cable to come back on?
Ray: How long can it be out for? I mean, this is crazy.
Debra: It's only been two minutes.
Ray: Yeah. If your finger was stuck in a car door, would you say: "It's been only two minutes?" No.
Debra: What?
Ray: I like TV.

Ray: Okay. We'll talk.
Debra: Good. So go ahead.
Ray: No. That's what you always do.
Debra: What?
Ray: You always say, "Let's talk," and then you throw it to me. If you say, "Let's talk," then you should have topics ready. I'm not good when I'm just expected to talk.
Debra: Expected to talk?
Ray: Yeah. I'm good with regular talk, you know, like, "These pants are itchy." "Hey, get down from there." Those things, but this...

Ray: Hey, you know what we could do?
Debra: Oh, no, no. I don't think so.
Ray: I think so. Why?
Debra: Because, it's...
Ray: It's what? It's a man and a woman just showing their love for one another. Maybe even showing it downstairs this time.
Debra: Ray, I'm not having sex with you just because the cable's out.
Ray: That's not just why. I meant to tell you. I wanted to when I came in. Remember? Come on, you remember. hen I looked at you.
Debra: All right, I'll tell you what. When the cable comes back on, I will be happy to show my love for you.
Ray: All right. When that cable comes back on, you got a deal.
Debra: All right.
Ray: [to the cable box] But I'll be thinking of you.

Debra: Marie, my question's for you.
Marie: Great. See? This is fun.
Debra: Okay. Right. "You were a famous movie star in the 1950s. But now you are strapped for cash. You are invited to endorse a diaper for bladder control on TV. Do you?" [Frank laughs]
Marie: Why did you ask me that question? You think I have that problem?
Debra: What? No, I just-
Marie: You think I'm old?
Debra: No, no.
Ray: Oh, I need a match and a cup of gasoline.
Marie: I'm not answering you, Debra.
Ray: Ma, come on, you're the one who wanted to play this game.
Marie: This isn't play. This is a personal attack.
Frank: It's a question, Marie.
Marie: A question about my old bladder.