Debra: Hey, listen, if you'd just lay down the law once in a while, maybe the twins would respect you more.
Ray: They respect me!
Debra: They do? When? When you tell them to get dressed and I find them watching TV with their pants on top of their heads?
Ray: I'm a fun dad.
Debra: Yeah, well, you've got the "fun" part right.
Ray: What's that supposed to mean?
Robert: You're a lousy dad.

Ray: Come on. You've seen me lay down the law, right?
Frank: I've seen you lay down. [chuckles]
Robert: Now roll over.
Marie: Oh, he's such a good boy. [pats Ray's head]

Ray: Guys, what are you doing?
Michael: Playing.
Ray: You're supposed to clean up your room.
Geoffrey: Five more minutes.
Ray: No. No, not this time. Not five more minutes. Now. Guys, I want you to clean up your room.
Geoffrey: Five more minutes.
Ray: No. Guys, I mean it. Guys, I'm not fooling around, okay? All right, you know what? You know what?
[After Ray does "the step" towards them, the twins stand up and do an exaggerated version back to him]
Ray: Listen, guys, I mean it! [the twins advance] Stop, guys. I want you to clean this room now. [again] Come on, guys. I'm not fooling around! Stop it! Stop it, guys! I'm getting annoyed now! Stop it! Guys!

Marie: These two are hungry, so I made sandwiches.
Ray: Great! [eats sandwich]
Robert: Hey!
Marie: What are you doing?
Ray: Nothing. You work up an appetite laying down the law.

Debra: Ray just put the twins to bed and took away all their holidays.
Frank: Hey, all right. Did you take away birthdays, too?
Ray: I'm saving that. We'll see how they do with the garbage tomorrow.
Frank: Very good.

Debra: Ray, listen to me. I know what you were trying to do up there, but that's not exactly what I meant by setting limits.
Ray: Well, that is how you set limits. I know exactly what I'm doing.
Debra: I think maybe you went too far.
Ray: I think maybe I went just right!
Debra: Don't you think maybe-
Ray: Yes, I screwed up! I don't know what the hell I'm doing! Why'd you make me do that?
Marie: What happened, Ray?
Ray: I don't know! I just started yelling, and then I couldn't stop. Why can't you stay the bad guy? Can't you see I stink at it?
Marie: Aw. Oh well, sweetie, it's just not your way. I think you should go up and take back that punishment, and then you, Debra, you go up and give it out again.
Debra: Ray, come on. You go up there and say you're sorry, and we'll get it all worked out.

Debra: So where would you go?
Frank: Anywhere. Parties, Bernie's house.
Marie: Well, his mother's getting a call.
Ray: Sometimes I just took the Valiant for a drive.
Frank: You took my car?
Ray: I'd always refill the gas so he'd never know that it was gone. [chuckles]
Robert: It was kinda brilliant.
Ray: Yeah, yup. And by the way, Robert did it, too.
Robert: Never!

Ray: Well, we need something.
Debra: All right, don't panic.
Ray: No, we've got to have a plan here, okay? How are we gonna control these kids?
Debra: What are you asking me for?
Ray: Because it's got to be you. I can't even put their PJs on. You think I'm gonna be able to take away beer and cigarettes?
Debra: Yesterday, Ally asked me if she could buy a miniskirt.
Ray: Oh, crap!
Marie: You've already lost!
Ray: You tell Ally the answer is no. No skirts of any kind. Pants... snow pants!

Robert: Oh, you can't win. No matter what you do, they're still gonna grab your booze and go to a concert.
Debra: No concerts! Shirts can come off at concerts, too.
Robert: I gotta start a band.

Debra: I'm glad we talked that out today.
Ray: Yeah. Me too.
Debra: I guess all we can do is love 'em and set a good example.
Ray: Yep. And as far as me and you go, I think we need a vacation.
Debra: Oh, I'm all for that. Where should we go?
Ray: Well, actually, I was thinking about Mardi Gras.
[As Ray sings "When The Saints Go Marching In" while taking his shirt off, Debra twists his nipple]
Ray: Ow!