Ray: Listen, listen. What separates the men from the boys is the willingness to take notes, rewrite and make it better. Okay? I'm giving you the key to the mint here.

Ray: [o.s.] Hey, Deb, where's my toothbrush?
Debra: I threw the old ones out. I got a bunch of new ones when I took the kids to the dentist today.
Ray: So which one's mine?
Debra: The red.
Ray: I don't want to be red!
Debra: Take the blue one.
Ray: The blue one is wet.
Debra: I just used it.
Ray: Ew!
Debra: You know, I used the soap in there too.
Ray: Not my soap? Oh, I have no toiletries.

Debra: Would you please, all right? I already had to deal with three maniac kids at the dentist today. By the end of it I needed the Novocain. Couldn't believe Geoffrey.
Ray: Yeah well, I had a bad day too, okay? I had to talk to Andy about his article.
Debra: Oh well, that must have been awful. Sitting and talking with an adult.

Ray: It was awful. You know how Andy wants to be a writer. So I gotta help him.
Debra: Ray, I'm trying to tell you something here.
Ray: Okay, but you know, I read his stuff and then I got to think about it, and then I gotta make notes on his stupid thing.
Debra: Maybe it was your attitude.
Ray: What attitude?
Debra: "His stupid thing"? Did you call his article a stupid thing?
Ray: Not to him. To him, I said it was very good.
Debra: Oh God.
Ray: What?
Debra: Very good? Hmm, yeah, I know what very good means. What'd you said about my stir-fry last night?
Ray: That was very good. Mmm-good.

Debra: Poor Andy. Why do you think he gave you his article?
Ray: Because I'm a sucker.
Debra: Because he looks up to you and respects you and whatever you say to him he's going to listen to.
Ray: Yeah, he didn't listen when I told him to stop crying.
Debra: Listen, you are very successful and he's just starting out, and you really have to try to go out of your way to be encouraging to him and kind. You've got to understand that other people have feelings too.

Ray: All right! Now can I finish telling you what happened to me today?
Ray: What happened to you today?
Debra: At the dentist!
Ray: Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, go.
Debra: Michael gets in the chair and the other two want to get in first. So that's when the fighting starts, so Dr.
Gibbons tries to turn on the choo-choo train. That's when Geoffrey kicks him! They all start screaming, the kids and Dr. Gibbons, the hygienist.
Ray: Oh, no.
Debra: That's right.
Ray: No, not that. I have a dentist appointment next week. [Debra turns the light off] What? I listened!

Ray: Debra thought I wasn't being encouraging. but I guess whatever I did kind of helped.
Andy: Yes, yes. In a way, yes.
Ray: What do you mean?
Andy: Well, I didn't exactly take your notes. I mean, I went home and I thought about it. I decided I liked the way I had it and I sent it.
Ray: [chuckles] Oh. [chuckles] Imagine that, man.
Andy: But thanks anyway. Your notes were very good!

Debra: Do you want to tell me what's going on here?
Ray: Nothing. "Sports Illustrated" used to be good, now it's bad. They have no credibility, no taste.
Debra: Oh, Ray. Did "Sports Illustrated" reject you again?
Ray: No. As a matter of fact, I'm proud of those rejections now, 'cause that rag is amateurville Jack. They're publishing Andy's thing.
Debra: Oh, that's great!
Ray: [mockingly] No, it's not!
Debra: But Ray, you should be happy. Oh my gosh! 'Cause you helped him. Oh, oh, oh. He didn't take your notes, did he? Ray, how did he get into the mint without your key?
Ray: He knows the janitor.

Ray: You know I, I work hard. I try to make enough money to feed this family. I have to put up with friends who ask my advice and then ignore what I tell them.
Ally: Daddy!
Ray: Then I put up with traffic. Then I have to come home-
Ally: Daddy!
Ray: And explain myself to a wife who thinks I'm this self-centered guy-
Ally: Daddy!
Ray: which makes me think that- I hear her! What is it, honey?
Ally: I have 1,000 pennies.
Ray: Did you see that Daddy was talking, sweetie? And I would love to see those pennies later, okay?

Ray: Hey.
Marie: Hi, dear. Want an English muffin?
Frank: Don't do it, it's cut!
Marie: Oh stop! Raymond, when they say on the box, fork split, doesn't that mean they've started it for you already? Like in the factory with a fork?