Amy: I didn't mean to argue. It's thank-you notes. It's so stupid.
Debra: Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. Look at me. You were great. Do you hear me? You can't let her get away with anything.
Amy: But she's so upset. I don't want a bad relationship with her. I should go apologize.
Debra: No, no, no, no, no. Hey, listen, that is exactly what she is waiting for, for you to go over there and say you'll write those thank-you notes. You have got to be strong. She is testing you. Trust me, what she just pulled here, that's her big weapon: the guilt bomb. And it doesn't help that all the men in her family are scared to death of her. Whenever she comes up against somebody with a backbone who might actually confront her, she's completely threatened and she gets her claws out. And so she has been allowed to rule this way, unopposed, for decades. Listen, Amy I have been waiting for you. This is a critical time. Even though this is a tough regime to topple, with you in the family, now we have a shot... you and me together, to end all the suffering. Do you hear me? We can do it!

Frank: This is the most thoughtful gift anyone has ever given me.
Marie: What is it?
Frank: It's a piece of shrapnel.
Amy: It's from World War ll in Anzio.
Frank: It's wonderful. I'll bet it's from the ass of some Kraut.

Amy: Well, you know, we just got back from our honeymoon, and...
Marie: Oh.
Amy: What?
Marie: Nothing. I just thought you were gonna be honest with me. I mean, to tell the truth, you two have been home for a day and a half now, haven't you?
Robert: Well, we just wanted to unwind for a little bit.
Marie: But you knew I was waiting. No call or anything. I was so worried, I called the airlines. I thought, "What if there was a plane crash?" But when they said, of course, there was none, I have to tell you, I was a little upset.

Ray: Debra, she saw what happened with Amy and Mom and the thank-you notes, and she got Amy to join forces with her, and now Debra's all foaming at the mouth.
Frank: Wait a minute, this is bad news for me. Anything that puts the missus in a worse mood than usual puts me in the dumper. Who's gonna feed me if this happens? Debra? That's no kind of life. How's Amy's cooking?
Ray: I don't know. It's good, I guess.
Frank: Still, that's a 10-minute drive. You've got to shut this down, Ray.
Frank: How are they gonna pull it off?
Ray: It's already started. They're planning a big throw-down, Iaying out the new order, and everybody's equal... Iove all around, peace and harmony.
Frank: Those stupid broads.

Robert: That could've gone better.
Ray: Nice going, Amy.
Amy: What happened? I don't understand.
Debra: Oh, honey. You married into the Manson Family. And Charlie goes off sometimes.

Debra: What is so funny?
Ray: You're so nuts. You still, after 15 years, haven't figured anything out about this woman? Amy. Here's how I see all this stuff. Mom loves the family. She really does. And she thinks it's her job to hold it all together. Does she overreact occasionally? Okay. So she wants you to write a few thank-you notes. She's an old lady. What else does she have? Besides, before even giving up a drop of power, she will truly kill us all.
Amy: What do you think, Robert?
Robert: I agree with Raymond.
Debra: Oh, come on!
Robert: No no. I totally agree, and I even add that because Ma favors Raymond so much more than me, you will have to be doubly nice.
Debra: You're both idiots.
Ray: You know, it's real easy to make trouble, missy, but when Ma's upset with you, we're the ones who suffer!
Robert: Please don't make her mad.

Debra: No more crap. We stand up, we confront.
Amy: I'm not afraid to confront.
Robert: My life was supposed to get better.
Debra: That's good. Now with these thank-you notes, here's what we do. You wait a month, two months.
Amy: Really? You think?
Debra: Oh, any sooner, and Marie wins. You set the timetable. That is key. And another thing, if she comes over to your house and starts snooping around your refrigerator, you pull her the hell out of there.
Amy: Right, because it's my refrigerator.
Debra: Yes! You see, this is so great because you can nip this in the bud, and I am going to be right behind you.
Amy: We can help each other.
Robert: I'm having chest pains.

Frank: You can't overthrow Marie. Besides, anytime you cut the head off something, the body still runs around by itself, all crazed-like.
Ray: I know. I know! That's why I'm asking you. I don't know what to do. What do you think we should do?
Marie: I'm not sure yet.
Ray: Agh! What the- You heard everything?
Marie: I heard enough.
Ray: Did you know she was back there?
Frank: Yes.
Ray: Well, why did you let me go on for?
Frank: I want my shrapnel back.
Ray: All right. Listen, Ma, you've got to understand... [runs out]

Marie: I was shocked to hear that you two were conspiring against me in some way.
Ray: Group hug! All right, it's not happening, it's not happening.
Marie: What have I done to bring on such disrespect? You know, in the Orient, elders are revered and honored, not plotted against. And why do you have to talk about me behind my back? I'm here. Right here. Debra, we may have our differences, but I consider you my daughter. And, Amy, all I want is for you to feel the same way. I just don't understand why you couldn't be direct with me. You may not like what I said before, but at least I said it to you.
Amy: You're right, Marie. I'm sorry. I don't want to start off like this. I love you.
Marie: I love you, honey. [Robert joins their hug]
Amy: And you know what? I'm gonna sit down and start on those thank-you notes today.
Debra: What?
Marie: Whenever you get to it, dear. No pressure.

Debra: Wait a minute. Wait a minute. That's what this is all about!
Marie: What's the matter, Debra?
Debra: Oh, don't give me that. I know you too well, Marie. You come over here all rational and normal and telling the truth, and this sap fell for it.
Amy: Hey!
Debra: You can't see that? This is a strategy: divide and conquer!
Marie: I don't know what you're talking about, Debra, but could it be that you're a bit jealous 'cause you have to share the spotlight with Amy?
Debra: Jealous? Jealous?!
[Robert downs a liquid and hands the bottle to Ray]
Ray: What is this?
Robert: Vanilla extract.
Debra: She just did it again, Amy! I am putting an end to all of this, do you hear me? I am not letting you take another one. Amy, don't you see she will do anything to win? She's the devil!
Amy: I've gotta tell you, Deb, it seemed to me like she was being very upfront and honest.
Debra: No! No, Amy, don't go! Don't go!