Ray: Let me tell you something: My father had a system. AIS. When we were kids and we were going on a car trip, he would set a time. "We're leaving 9:00! AIS!"
Debra: "AIS"?
Ray: "Ass in seat." If anyone's ass was not in their seat at the designated time, that ass was left behind.
Debra: So, in the fall, did you have to set your ass back an hour?

Bernie: Where's Debra?
Ray: Debra? Oh, uh, I left without her.
Andy: What do you mean?
Ray: She wasn't ready on time, so I left.
Bernie: So is she coming?
Ray: Perhaps. She's a licensed driver, she's got access to a car. Everything she needs to get here when she's good and ready. [to a passerby] Hey, how you doing?
Andy: I don't know anything about women, but isn't this gonna make er mad?
Ray: It shouldn't. We had a deal, the time was set, she didn't make it. Goodbye. Bacon-wrapped shrimp!

Ray: Every single time we go out, you make me wait.
Debra: What? That's not true.
Ray: That's every single time. You know how I hate being late. It makes me very anxious. I get all ugh-eh inside.
Debra: Well, Ray, if I'm late, maybe it's because the government requires that one of us tends to the children.
Ray: Oh, don't give me that. The children are nowhere near you when you're up here... [mimes putting on make-up]
Debra: You are one ugly woman.
Ray: Blaming the children. You were doing this to me before we were married. You'd make me wait in your apartment while you were getting ready and I had to sit there and look at your... books.
Debra: You know, you used to think I was worth waiting for.
Ray: You were worth waiting for. But after 15 years, you should be here by now.