Ray: Let me tell you something: My father had a system. AIS. When we were kids and we were going on a car trip, he would set a time. "We're leaving 9:00! AIS!"
Debra: "AIS"?
Ray: "Ass in seat." If anyone's ass was not in their seat at the designated time, that ass was left behind.
Debra: So, in the fall, did you have to set your ass back an hour?

Ray: Every single time we go out, you make me wait.
Debra: What? That's not true.
Ray: That's every single time. You know how I hate being late. It makes me very anxious. I get all ugh-eh inside.
Debra: Well, Ray, if I'm late, maybe it's because the government requires that one of us tends to the children.
Ray: Oh, don't give me that. The children are nowhere near you when you're up here... [mimes putting on make-up]
Debra: You are one ugly woman.
Ray: Blaming the children. You were doing this to me before we were married. You'd make me wait in your apartment while you were getting ready and I had to sit there and look at your... books.
Debra: You know, you used to think I was worth waiting for.
Ray: You were worth waiting for. But after 15 years, you should be here by now.

Ray: When I'm waiting in the car and you're up here la-di-dahing, it's perfectly clear that you don't care about me.
Debra: Oh, okay, Ray, I'm sorry that it feels that way to you, but I promise that is not what's going on.
Ray: Yeah, yeah.
Debra: No, really. I mean it. What time are the ESPY Awards tomorrow?
Ray: Oh, no. That's right. The ESPY Awards. You're gonna do it again, aren't you? You're gonna make me late for my favorite night of the year.
Debra: I don't wanna be late for it either. I've been looking forward to this night all year long, too. I even bought a great new dress.
Ray: Oh! A new dress! Please! Let me just save us time right now, okay? The shoes go perfect and it makes you look skinny. Okay? So, please, could you just put it all on now and go sleep in the car?