Ray: Hey, Mom and Dad, I think I know what I'm gonna get you for Christmas.
Frank: Better not be a pet. I hate people who give pets.
Ray: Yeah, yeah, we know, Dad.
Frank: Giving a pet means "You're old, I find you boring. Talk to a bird."

Frank: What did you do? Try to soften her up with a big present so you could go play golf?
Ray: For your information, Dad, it's a little more complicated than that.
Frank: You're an idiot. Give me that chocolate. Sit down. Let me tell you something about women. You think you've got to butter them up to get what you want. That is a poor man's game. "Oh, sweetums, here's some flowers. Can I go to the lodge?" Not for me. Not for me! I don't do that nice crap.
Robert: So how do you get what you want?
Frank: I've learned to do without.

Ray: Hey, Mom and Dad, I think I know what I'm gonna get you for Christmas.
Frank: Better not be a pet. I hate people who give pets.
Ray: Yeah, yeah, we know, Dad.
Frank: Giving a pet means "You're old, I find you boring. Talk to a bird."

Lois: Raymond, I just noticed that this background is blue. Do I have time to change into my gray pashmina?
Ray: [shouts] Get back in your place! We're taking this damn picture! Would you see what I'm dealing with here? Are you blind?
Warren: Uh, Raymond-
Ray: Baaah! No habla talkie talkie, okay? I've had it with trying to make everybody happy! I was trying to do something nice! I'm sick of everybody coming up to me, "Oh, talk to Debra." "Talk to your mother." "Why can't my girlfriend be in the picture?" "Oh, I don't want to spend Christmas with them." "Fix it, Raymond, talk." I'm done talking! Don't talk to me anymore, you hear me? If you wanna talk, talk to yourselves 'cause I'm out!
Lois: Maybe I'll just wear the blue.

Ray: Come on, it's a family photo. It'll be nice.
Debra: Oh, all right.
Ray: Thank you, honey. It's good we're getting it done, you know, 'cause every year you get older looking, right? When I say "you" I I mean "me." I mean "me," plus $20.