Frank: Marie, cook something, will you? Thanks to your son, we didn't even get to eat.
Marie: I got some frozen ziti and some leftover turkey.
Frank: Not exactly four-star, is it?
Marie: You embarrassed us.
Ray: Oh, wait. Wait a minute. I don't get you guys. You didn't want to go. You complained the whole time. What are you mad at me for?
Frank: You were rude.
Ray: I was rude?
Marie: Yes. We didn't raise you like that.
Frank: You don't insult your host.
Marie: Not to their face. Where's your discretion?

Ray: What are you talking about? I only said what I said because of you two.
Frank: What did we do?
Ray: What did you do? It was like the night the hillbillies landed.
Frank: All I did was try to save the man some money.
Marie: You were the one going on about yams and transvestites, dear.
Frank: I'll tell you something else. There were things on that menu I could've gone for right now.
Marie: I thought you knew more about what being a family meant. I mean, what would happen to the world if everybody told their families what they actually thought?
Frank: Maybe you should think before you speak.
Ray: Oh, I'm a man without a country.

Ray: Oh, you're up?
Debra: I couldn't believe you tonight, Ray, you were so rude.
Ray: Good, it's unanimous.
Debra: Let me ask you something, Ray. Do you know how many things I can find wrong with your parents?
Ray: Oh, that's like asking how many rocks are there.
Debra: How would you like it if I marched over there and told your parents all the things I didn't like about them?
Ray: Great. I'll get the video camera.
Debra: Narrow-minded, intrusive, completely insensitive... oblivious, and cheap.
Ray: Okay, now let's do my mother.
Debra: I am serious, Ray.
Debra: I know. Except I would never say anything... because the closeness of this family is very important to me.
Ray: Yeah, evenings like this.

Ray: Look, I'm very sorry, really.
Debra: You're sorry? What are you sorry for?
Ray: I'm sorry... we have parents.
Debra: Come on, Ray.

Ray: Come on, please, just forgive me, all right? I'll throw in a dinner for two at Le Bernardus.
Debra: Does it have to be with you?
Ray: Yes. You're stuck with me. Okay?
Debra: Okay. Jerk. You know what really worried me tonight, Ray? It's that you started to remind me of your parents.
Ray: Hey, there's no need to name-call.
Debra: The other thing that bothered me is, I think I'm a little bit like mine.
Ray: Yeah, but, see, there's a difference.
Debra: What?
Ray: I don't mind you.
Debra: Guess I don't mind you, either.
Ray: Hey, our wedding vows. [they kiss]
Debra: I know.
Ray: So we just made up. I think it might be time for make-up sex.
Debra: Does it have to be with you?