Marie: Hi.
Debra: Hi, Marie.
Marie: Ooh. What is that? Another dinner get away from you, dear?
Debra: It's burned popcorn, Marie.
Marie: Oh, popcorn for dinner. How fun.

Ray: Did you know that Amy's cooking a big dinner over there Friday?
Debra: For their anniversary thing?
Ray: Yeah. Amy's cooking. In my mom's kitchen. You've cooked over there before, right?
Debra: What, are you kidding me? Marie doesn't even like me cooking over here.

Ray: Can we turn the TV off, please? Does the TV always have to be on?
Debra: What's wrong with you?
Ray: Nothing! Can't we just talk?
Debra: Okay, now you're scaring me.
Ray: You don't wish you could cook over there sometime? That wouldn't be fun?
Debra: Um, that might be the dumbest thing you ever said. Give me the remote.

Ray: Why don't you like Debra?
Marie: Honey, I love Debra. It's just that Amy and I get along so well. She's a very nice girl, you know.
Ray: So is Debra. Debra's nice.
Marie: No, I don't mean "nice" like that.
Ray: Then what?
Marie: I mean, Amy is very nice and very good. She's a very good girl.
Ray: So is Debra.
Marie: No. Good. Pure.
Ray: Pure? [Marie nods] Whoa, wait. Wait, what? Pure, as in, Amy has never...
Marie: Buh, buh, buh, buh. I was supposed to keep that a secret.

Ray: Well, first of all, did you know that Amy has never... [clicks tongue] She's saving up for later.
Debra: That's supposed to be a secret. Who told you that?
Ray: My mom.
Debra: She did? Yeah.
Ray: Can you believe it? That's it. That's her whole reason.
Debra: Because Amy's a...
Ray: Good girl. Good girl. That's what she's calling her, a good girl.
Debra: Oh, my God.
Ray: It's so shallow.
Debra: What can I do? I can't exactly compete with Amy in that department. You know, can't un-ring a bell.

Ray: All right, stop it, Ma. Just stop it.
Marie: What?
Ray: Stop being nice to Debra!
Debra: Don't bother, Ray.
Ray: No, this is crazy. She can't keep treating you like this.
Marie: I shouldn't be nice?
Ray: You're being nice for the wrong reasons. You know she can't cook.

Debra: Ugh, that smell. You burned the popcorn again, didn't you?
Ray: All right. That's an easy one. Now try and guess what I spilled.

Ray: Dad, what's the matter? What's the big emergency?
Frank: I've got to fix the oven fan. I need you and Robert to help me hold the vent hood.
Ray: That's the emergency? That's "get over here now"?
Frank: You wanna help or not?
Ray: Next time you better be in labor.

Ray: You know, Debra has cooked here, my friend.
Robert: No, she has not.
Ray: She has, too.
Robert: No, sir.
Ray: She has, too, you freak.
Robert: You're the freak! Dad! Dad! [knocks on vent] Has Ma ever let Debra cook in the kitchen?
Frank: I'm not getting involved in your stupid argument. Your mother likes Amy better than Debra. End of story!
Ray: Wait, wait. Wait a minute. Who told you that?
Frank: Your mother! Don't go blabbing that. She said it was a secret.

Ray: She likes Amy more than you!
Debra: What?
Ray: Yeah, that's what she told my dad.
Debra: She did?
Ray: Yeah, so then he told me and Robert. Oh, and don't go telling anybody, all right? It's a secret.