Ms. Morello: Chris, come on! You might be Black, but you're not fireproof. Leave that bag there.

Adult Chris: [v.o.] A bag of weed can cause you all kinds of problems: big ones, like losing your job; and little ones, like trying to figure out where to hide it. I thought about hiding it in the bathroom.
[fantasy:]
Julius: Who's hiding $27 worth of weed in the toilet?!
Adult Chris: [v.o.] I thought about hiding it in my room.
Tonya: Mama! Somebody hid some weed in Chris' sock drawer!
Adult Chris: [v.o.] I even thought about hiding it in the kitchen.
Rochelle: Who hid weed in my cereal?!
Adult Chris: [v.o.] But I decided the safest place to hide it was on me.

Adult Chris: [v.o.] Now I had two problems. The guy's weed was in a lasagna. And I had a lasagna full of weed.
Ms. Morello: Ooh, that looks delicious! I would've thought you would fry up some chicken, but this is a real surprise.