Chris Quote #323
Quote from Chris in Everybody Hates Caruso
Chris: You need to stand up to Yao.
Joey Caruso: Are you crazy? He hit me in the eye with a Siberian flying tiger. I couldn't see straight for three days.
Chris: So? When I first came to this school, you smacked me around. But I stood up to you. [flashback to the fight] And you smacked me around some more. [another flashback]
Joey Caruso: So what's your point?
Chris: You see, every superhero needs a villain. I mean, where would Superman be if it wasn't for Lex Luthor? He'd be at the Hall of Justice watching super TV. [sighs] And the Fantastic Four, where would they be if it wasn't for Dr. Doom? At the circus. [toilet flushing] The reason you need to stand for yourself is because I need you. The school needs you. And unless you want to spend the rest of the school year slinking around and being scared to let me kick the crap out of you, you need to stand up for yourself.
Joey Caruso: You really think I can beat him?
Chris: I don't think so, I know so.
Everybody Hates Chris Quotes
‘Everybody Hates Caruso’ Quotes
Quote from Chris
Bernard Yao: I'm failing math. I got work to do. I don't have time for this.
Chris: Wait, you're not good at math?
Bernard Yao: What, just because I'm Asian, I have to be good in math? You're Black, can you moonwalk?
Chris: I didn't mean it like that. And, no, I can't moonwalk.
Bernard Yao: So, I can't use chopsticks.
Chris: I don't like watermelon.
Bernard Yao: I can't make a swan out of paper.
Chris: I don't have sickle cell anemia.
Bernard Yao: I don't own a dry cleaners.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] I bet you like rice.
Quote from Julius
Rochelle: Baby, get some rest. Pay attention to your health for a change.
Julius: There's nothing wrong with my health.
Rochelle: You got the gout, high blood pressure, arthritis, a bad back, the sniffles, an ingrown toenail, seborrhea, psoriasis, a strained ligament, dyspepsia and gastric reflux.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] My mother was making a lot of sense. Unfortunately, all my father heard was...
[fantasy:]
Rochelle: You got the light bill, the gas bill, the phone bill, the heat bill, the water bill, car note, taxes, insurance, food, rent, clothes, heating, cooling, washing, drying...
Adult Chris: [v.o.] My mother thought it was work that gave my father stress. But she was wrong. It was debt.
Quote from Julius
Drew: Man, I wish I could take a week off. I need a vacation.
Julius: What for? You're a kid. Your whole life's a vacation. This is a waste of time. I should be working.
Rochelle: You got five paid vacation days. Paid, Julius.
Julius: Yeah, but they're paying me for a 40-hour week. I average close to 70. If you think about it, I'm actually losing money.
Rochelle: Then don't think about it.