Chris Quote #320

Quote from Chris in Everybody Hates Caruso

Bernard Yao: I'm failing math. I got work to do. I don't have time for this.
Chris: Wait, you're not good at math?
Bernard Yao: What, just because I'm Asian, I have to be good in math? You're Black, can you moonwalk?
Chris: I didn't mean it like that. And, no, I can't moonwalk.
Bernard Yao: So, I can't use chopsticks.
Chris: I don't like watermelon.
Bernard Yao: I can't make a swan out of paper.
Chris: I don't have sickle cell anemia.
Bernard Yao: I don't own a dry cleaners.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] I bet you like rice.


 ‘Everybody Hates Caruso’ Quotes

Quote from Julius

Rochelle: Baby, get some rest. Pay attention to your health for a change.
Julius: There's nothing wrong with my health.
Rochelle: You got the gout, high blood pressure, arthritis, a bad back, the sniffles, an ingrown toenail, seborrhea, psoriasis, a strained ligament, dyspepsia and gastric reflux.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] My mother was making a lot of sense. Unfortunately, all my father heard was...
Rochelle: You got the light bill, the gas bill, the phone bill, the heat bill, the water bill, car note, taxes, insurance, food, rent, clothes, heating, cooling, washing, drying...
Adult Chris: [v.o.] My mother thought it was work that gave my father stress. But she was wrong. It was debt.

Quote from Julius

Drew: Man, I wish I could take a week off. I need a vacation.
Julius: What for? You're a kid. Your whole life's a vacation. This is a waste of time. I should be working.
Rochelle: You got five paid vacation days. Paid, Julius.
Julius: Yeah, but they're paying me for a 40-hour week. I average close to 70. If you think about it, I'm actually losing money.
Rochelle: Then don't think about it.

Quote from Joey Caruso

Adult Chris: [v.o.] After two years at Corleone, I felt like things had finally started to turn around. My grades were okay, I liked most of my teachers and I had made friends... Make that, a friend. But he was a good one. There was only one problem that wasn't going away.
Joey Caruso: [punches Chris] Morning, Cocoa Puffs. [Greg runs away]
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Caruso had made my life a living hell. He had beaten my ass every day and nothing kept him away.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Not a 104 degree fever...
[Caruso is in a bath robe as he slowly walks towards Chris, takes the thermometer out of his mouth, and punches Chris in the face]
Joey Caruso: [sneezes]
Adult Chris: [v.o.] ...and not even a national holiday.
[When Chris opens the door of his house, Caruso is dresses as Uncle Sam]
Joey Caruso: Happy Fourth of July, Sammy. [punches Chris]